This Nurses World

Happy B-day to kiddo #2

2010-09-09T17:55:00.003-06:00

Here is Kimbo on her big day #13!! Showing off some of her loot........

Some of the guest....

Kim and all her friends looking at her new phone !!

Kim's vampire cake she wanted.....

And the big girl with her cake!!

Camp Branson

2010-08-02T12:09:00.002-06:00

Well, I survived my first camping experience! It wasn't too bad at all, plus saving $$$ is always a good thing. We went to Branson to try out J's new camper, and I think it was a comfy home away from home. We met people from all over at our campsite, and just really enjoyed spending the time together......

Here is our camp Branson we set up...

Site seeing to see inspiration tower where people zip line off the top of it

Me and J on Ride the Ducks.....

We went to see Shoji Tabuchi, and the elaborate bathrooms have been featured on the Travel Channel....

And here is the Japanese fiddle master himself..... it was a good show...a little hokey at times, but entertaining.

A camping I will go.......

2010-07-16T19:29:00.003-06:00

I, by no means, have ever or will ever claim to be an out-door-esy type of person. My idea of roughing it is Motel 6 or the like. However, the bf's a whole different story. He has always loved the great outdoors and camping and fishing etc.... One of his dreams has always been the RV way of life, or as close to it as he could afford. So with that being said, at the end of this month we will be embarking out on my maiden camping voyage to the great outdoors, which should be very interesting for us both. God help him especially, having me along though ha! Here are pics of our soon to be home away from home. My only requirement for the thing is shown in pic #1 the bathroom/shower combo, a.k.a. the shitter closest.

Even with "curtains" all around the closet when it is fully "engaged" there's going to be nothing like using it.......

A view towards one end of the queen size beds......see the fridge??

And a view towards the other queen size bed with the dining room and kitchen all in view....

Just a close up of the kitchen sink and stove

A view of the camper pulled out in its glory..... I am getting excited and can't hardly wait...kinda :0

Another Year Older........

2010-06-07T19:39:00.002-06:00

My oldest "baby" turned 15 last week and my how time flies....... I kid her all the time about how I went from not only being the center of her universe and the smartest person she knew, to being SOOO old and knowing nothing and a pain in her behind.... Ahh, the teen years! She took and passed her written test, so now the little booger can start learning how to drive... and I feel many more gray hairs coming on....

Jess's summer themed cake

The party -goers

Another angle of said party- goers.....

Here's my baby girl.....

And the little twerp not posing with her momma!!!

Pics of Boston......

2010-05-25T16:57:00.002-06:00

I just returned from a 4 day trip to Boston and here are some of the touristy pics I took when not in class........

Boston skyline at twilight

Somewhere downtown.....

Long Wharf

The USS Constitution with Bunker Hill Monument in the background

Sunset over Boston......

More Family pics.....

2010-05-11T15:18:00.002-06:00

old family reunion back in the 1950's or 60's

one of the last photos of my grandpa alive, at a family reunion, the year he died. sorry about the side view!

Mamie Capps, and yes she is sticking her tongue out ha! love it (john stapleton's sister) and my mother and grandmother in the background at a family reunion.

daddy-o when he was 17 years young!

A young Flo Stapleton @1944-45

Old family pics

2010-05-11T15:01:00.003-06:00

Below are some pics I got after an estate sale of a distant and much older cousin who died late last year. I only got to pic over the leftovers from his nieces and nephews, but I still got some gems.. The first one is of Anna Stapleton and George Barker, my great grandfather and his sister (who is the mother of the distant cousin).

Below is my dad, last on the right at a christmas party when he worked at the physical plant at CMSU.

This one is the best gem of all the pics I came across... my great grandmother Mollie (sitting, dressed in black) holding her firstborn son, Joe, her parents Abraham and Mary Ramey Stapleton.

My biological grandparents, Cecil and Allene.

My dad and grandparents in 1965.

Yet some more landscaping.....

2010-05-07T20:19:00.002-06:00

Yet another addition to my landscaping this year..... A wall!! to hide the ugly concrete pad.....

there's my project manager hard at work....and he would rather save lives than construct! Ugh!

A view of the north side....almost done....

and an early view of the front side..... sister dear--- what color should I paint it or stain it? I'm thinking of painting it white to match the trim around the windows/door/foundation, but also considering red to match the new bricks???? Your 2 cents?

complete landscaping...well, except for plants!!

2010-04-28T20:16:00.002-06:00

Well... here is the finished for now views, minus grass and plants....

south side of the house...

my vision of the landscaping curving back into the yard.....

another view.....

the planter on the north side of the house... i think some pretty ornamental grasses will hide the concrete pad nicely... or maybe i will paint it???

and yet, another view..... AWESOME!!!!!

Still 1 more day to go......

2010-04-27T13:25:00.002-06:00

Well...Tuesday has come and gone, and still have one more workday until landscaping is done... but oh well..... another look at the progress.....

On the north side of the house, had this planter area put in to balance the brick heavy side of the house....

It has one more row of bricks to go until finished......

A different angle......

This side of the house is about done except for some dirt filling in and a bit of clean up.....

A view of the whole house at this time.....

Landscaping the front yard.....

2010-04-22T10:03:00.002-06:00

I decided to hire this one out...... and here's a look at the work so far. It should be completed next Tuesday, cross my fingers and hope for NO rain.....

The old wall just fell over after a few nails were removed...scary!!

Digging the trench for the new wall.............

The start of my vision!!

The old cruddy stuff away from the tree and a view *kinda* of how the old is blending in with the new....

The end of 2 full days of work by the crew with one more day to go.....then hello dirty hands!!

FINALLY...... the basement is DONE!!!!!

2010-02-24T15:55:00.002-06:00

Finally...again! It has only been a year since youngest daughter and I tore out a hand built closet down there, thus beginning the demo of the old basement. I am just glad it's done and fully usable again and comfy and good for the kids.

Looking towards the doorways to the upstairs and laundry room
Another view...........
See the owls sis made on the wall?? I put paperclips in the back and hung them up on a nail.....
The new futon for the kiddos and their buds.....

New Year..... New Snow......

2010-01-03T23:04:00.003-06:00

I really do like winter and snow to a point, no matter how much I curse -15 wind chills or difficulties driving in the stuff. I like how it blankets the earth in pretty pure white, making even ugly yard gnomes and crooked trees look cute. I like how it makes the young and young at heart both pause to enjoy the view before whacking loved ones in the back of the head with a ball made of the stuff. I like that it makes you appreciate the fact a simple flip of the switch produces more heat before sending the kids out to "rough" it like we did in the old days. I like how true it is that there are no two flakes alike and appreciate the wonder of those intricate patterns as they fall on me after I have slipped on it to make snow angels I did not volunteer to do. I like how it drops the humidity level of Missouri down to like 20%, even though my skin feels like sandpaper. I like how it brings all the neighborhood kids together, even if they all come to my house, messy gear included, to warm up with hot chocolate. My Ode to SNOW. The End. Clap Clap. Bow. Bow. :)

Semi Homemade Curtains....

2009-11-18T16:33:00.003-06:00

Here are views of the semi homemade 1/2 finished basement curtains that are homemade, just not by me. Thanks Mom!!! But I wish you would've measured a bit better.... don't worry! I have more material on the way :)

My handmade basement art.......

2009-11-04T15:44:00.003-06:00

Here's the first thing I have hung on the wall of the before quite posted a lot basement project, the last post being of the oh so bright and cheerful color the girls picked out for their hangout room. Orange. What the heck goes with orange without the room turning into one big ode to a certain holiday? Maybe that's why the room isn't coming together very fast. Ha. Ha. Ha. Anyway, we were at JoAnn's fabrics a few weeks ago searching for something/anything that might match the room to make curtains when I came across the fabric you see in the background. On clearance no less. Yeah!!! Me!!! It wasn't good for curtains, but that didn't stop me from getting a yard to do "something with" one of these days. That's how my mother's basement got started I'm sure. But don't tell her I said that. Anyway, here is the end result, thanks to some of that fabric, a cheap 18 x 24 poster frame, and an Uppercase Living "W" that sis got me last year. At least I finally got around to using it somewhere. I don't think my little project turned out too bad.
Up close view...........

The full effect...............

Great Orange Balls '09

2009-11-04T15:19:00.003-06:00

Okay... so I'm still running late this year... what's new? A few weeks before Halloween we carved and/or decorated our pumpkins, then the big night came....

Jessica's ode to the spud... really! Who thinks of potato head parts for those fab orange balls, and why the heck didn't I come up with that???

Kimberly's hack jobs......

The dreadful monsters........

And the after-loot collection....

Oh Happy Knee......

2009-10-14T14:00:00.002-06:00

Well I just got back from my consult with the ortho doc a bit ago about my left knee. Above is the lovely, expensive MRI image of said knee. See the white stuff... it isn't supposed to be there. I basically have the knees of someone twice my age. Nice. Thanks to my family genes, weight, and work I've done all my life, I get to look forward to pain, more pain, daily meds (for now), injections of various drugs, and someday when I'm old enough, a knee replacement. Whoo hoo.... Wanna trade?

all done except for carpet....

2009-09-29T08:05:00.002-06:00

Well, here's the almost 100% finished product... paint color and all!! Which the kiddos picked. I wanted an earth tone for the basement since the rest of the house is full of them, but somehow my idea of a shade of orange in the basement got twisted into this color which is much brighter than what I had in mind. But... it's the kids area since they are one of the main reasons the construction was done, they won. But only after about a week of going back and forth about it! The only thing left now is carpet, and it will be done soon.

Looking into the room from the doorway.

Now the opposite view.

The east wall, or at least part of it. The door goes into Jess's room.

And just another view of the ORANGE.

better late than never.....

2009-08-28T12:50:00.002-06:00

Okay, so that first day of school was last Tuesday.... better late than never getting this posted. The getting up at 0530 & 0550 about killed them ha ha, but I enjoyed my day of peace and quiet. And thankfully they are both on the same time schedule again... and big sis is helping little sis, at least when she's not complaining about her! School should SO be year around, only in the interest of parent' sanity!

Work Continues......

2009-08-07T17:47:00.003-06:00

We are getting closer and closer every week to being done!! Ceiling and paint, even if its boring white paint.....for now anyway. I still have no idea what I'm wanting down there. Basically trim and fixtures left.

Couple of Weeks from being done......

2009-08-04T18:14:00.002-06:00

Here's the basement with dry-wall mud in place. Some sanding, painting, ceiling work, and trim is all really what's left of construction. Then I can pick out carpet and figure out wall color, still having no idea!! Ugh.

Cousins......

2009-07-21T08:58:00.007-06:00

Last week my nieces came to stay and play with their cousins, as my girls had done a couple weeks before. It was a busy week that wore me out but here are some of the pics of our week, backwards. We begin at Friday, on the way to meet my sis......

All 6 of them in the car..... some slept, for awhile anyway.....
Ashford and Graham came for a few hours before we had to leave to go.....
And my girls spent the time fighting over who would hold their youngest cousin...

On Thursday we went to Worlds of Fun in KC, and here's Lexi driving her car.....

And blurry Haley after she drove her car.... I rode with Kim, and let me tell you, I hope she does better when she's really official!! Jessica did okay in hers too....

The Patriot that 3 of them rode......they are on there somewhere!!

Kim and Haley and Lexi are there..... somewhere....

All 4 of them plus me on the Fury of the Nile where we got soaking wet... some more than others!

At the top of the Boomerang.... all 4 of them somewhere!

They all are there in the 2nd to the top row!

Kim and Haley.....

And after the ride!!

3 of them at the top of the Mamba before the 11 story drop down at 75 mph...... they rode this one over and over and over and over and over again...... and see the dark clouds in the sky?? It rained and sprinkled off and on us often during the day.... but we stayed!! How dedicated are we??

On the Spinning Dragon.... over and over..... All of the rides over and over actually!! We circled the park twice at least!!

In addition to swimming on Tuesday, we came home afterwards and made our own pizza!! Yum-O !!

Here Kim and Haley are doing what they usually do when the camera comes out!! Little turkeys'..... It was a good week. On Wednesday we went shopping and then to dinner with grandma and grandpa and then went to see the new Harry Potter movie!! Monday we chilled and played at home after picking up some goodies Sunday night at the store..... So, we will see what we do next year!!

The other 1/2 of the basement has started...

2009-07-18T14:20:00.002-06:00

Here's the beginnings of the family room side.... the very rough start! Only part of it has dry-wall up, but the new insulation is in. More should be done this week, hopefully anyway.

Looking into the room from the hallway.

Towards the front window.

Just another view. I'll have pics of my office to post later on this week too, depending on how much I get done in there.

Taaa- Daaa..... the room is finally done!!

2009-07-18T14:14:00.003-06:00

Here are pics of our finished basement bedroom that is finally ALL done!!! Yeah!! The teenager is all moved in and all the finishing touches she wanted are complete. Whatca think??

Looking in from the door towards the bed. The lighting and focus kinda bite!!

Towards the closet and now there are curtains in the window!!

Towards the door.....

Her reading corner with her moon chair and lamp in it... oh, and the fuzzy blankey!!

Looking into the room from the door way... all done!!

Polka Dots all over...........

2009-07-03T20:48:00.002-06:00

Well, here's the almost finished room.... all that's missing are a few outlet covers now. The carpet was installed this morning and the closet shelves and rod was in this afternoon and plans are to start moving the child into the room later this week!! Yeah!!

All sorts of colors everywhere.....

Basement Update.....

2009-07-01T13:54:00.002-06:00

Here's an update on the basement construction.... Almost done!!! With one room at least! Here are pics of Jessica's soon to be bedroom. All that's left is outlet covers, shelves in the closet, and carpet, give or take some big ideas from the child. The room is painted a green color, but its hard to see the true color in all the different lights/angles.

Looking towards the closet and corner of the room.

Looking towards the family room..... which is the next project!

Probably the way to see the color of the room... it sure is GREEN!!!

Looking into the room from the family room. Tomorrow the carpet layers come to measure then we will go pick it out and hopefully get it installed fairly soon... then the child can move!! Hope so, since she has basically already moved out of her current room!!

The Oldest turns 14!!

2009-06-05T18:33:00.002-06:00

Another year and oldest daughter gets older :( It makes me sad realizing really just how much longer she might actually live with me. She is starting HS this fall and it doesn't seem possible. Just 14 years ago she was so small and tiny and new, depending on me for everything. Ahhhh. And now, she can't hardly stand to be in the same room with me! I want my ity bity baby back!!

Jess in all her 14 year old glory posing with the cake she picked out this year, the theme with the colors that her new room with eventually have.

Us and her friend on the train, riding around the zoo.

And what's the zoo without all the wild animals.

Poor old elephants.

And cats are truly solar powered. Ha ha.

We're keeping the salon in business.........

2009-06-05T18:24:00.002-06:00

Well yet another round of hair cuts in our household....Jess is the only hold out at this point. Kim wanted something easier and cooler for summer and I followed her lead.....

Kim before, bunny ears and all, courtesy of big sis......

And Kim after.......short short short.....

And me after.....the back is very short!

Phase 3......

2009-05-21T18:01:00.002-06:00

Today, at the end of the month when the extra $$ is available, I had phase 3 of the basement construction done. This time what is going to be Jessica's bedroom was mostly dry-walled, taped and mudded, and more wiring done for outlets. We are concentrating on getting this room done first, so that maybe by the end of July, I can finally have my house back in order, with all kids moved to their new rooms and all my stuff out of storage in spots in the rest of the house and garage. We shall see!!

Standing by her closet door looking out towards the family room in this shot.

Just a corner by the door to the room.

Looking into her room from the family room.

Looking into her room towards the closet from the family room.

The Grass is Greener.....

2009-05-21T08:17:00.002-06:00

Thanks to my efforts earlier this spring and all the rain we've had lately, I have grass starting to grow in the back and side yard where the basement people tore up the yard in the process. I need to fill in those areas that aren't growing well or that I missed the on the first go around, but I'm just happy its greener than it was!!

The side yard

The front

The back

To KS I will go......

2009-05-11T12:04:00.002-06:00

This past weekend me and my s/o left Missouri and headed for his hometown McPherson KS to spend some time together, see his family, and celebrate my graduation from college..again :) It was nice to get away, even if it was only 4 hours away. We visited his favorites sites around town, visited with his mother and his brother's family, and played tourist a little bit.

This is a pic from the Cosmosphere that is affiliated with the Smithsonian in Hutchinson. It has a museum about the history of space travel along with several interesting displays related to moon missions. We also went to the IMAX theater and the planetarium and some shows there while we were here. Good way to spend a day.

A scene from the May Days fair that was going on in his hometown while we were there. Of course, we HAD to get a funnel cake!!

Some of the buffalo wandering the wildlife preserve we went to and drove around.

The ever expansive KS scenery......many, many views like this while there.

And finally, a pic of me and the paramedic in the park in his hometown....everything was SO green because of all the rain.

Graduation time again.....

2009-05-06T07:35:00.002-06:00

It's graduation time again for me....I have finally completed my BSN!! After two long years of online classes and many, many clinical hours.. Here is an old photo from my first college graduation with my ADN nine years ago... it doesn't really seem like its been that long! Anyway, I posted this old photo because I have decided to not attend commencement this time around even though some at work think I should be going.... Me and the paramedic are going out of town for a weekend minus kiddos to celebrate. Yeah me for finishing another goal in life!!

Phase 2...

2009-04-24T18:41:00.002-06:00

Some of the wiring and the water meter box is in place.

Electrical outlets for the room on one side and the laundry room on the other.

Family room duct work rough in.

Closet framing....now the sump pump has its own outlet in progress.

The reused door...I had the one taken off the entrance to the family room since its never closed anyway, and its now going to be the door to the room. Yeah me... recycling something. HA.

So... as I get money basement construction continues. Not much progress since the last pics, but better than none at all. Today the closet was studded in completely and the electrical as well as duct work for heat/ac done, and a door moved. Much more to go...... but its at least moving forward.

Progress!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-31T17:39:00.004-06:00

Progress is being made on the basement.......who knows when it will all be done though!! Only as I get more $$$ and more $$$$ and more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ :)

Part of the family room

Family room portion from another angle

Part of laundry room and the other room

View of the other room to be all studded in around the sump pump

YEAH!!

Grass and Straw....

2009-03-25T15:22:00.002-06:00

Spring time is bringing me outside more often now, and with the basement job tearing up the yard earlier this month, I finally got around to throwing some grass seed and had one of the girls and their friend put the straw down, which ended in a straw fight, ha ha. But they had fun!

More Basement Mayhem

2009-03-25T15:16:00.003-06:00

Well...as you can see...more basement mayhem... Or as it's really known as: construction. Really de-construction right now. The old walls and icky paneling and nasty carpet was torn out today and hauled off. The next step will be stud walls and insulation...whoo hoo.....

It looks really, really funny down here without the wall in place. Makes me think twice about putting walls back in ha ha....umm, not really! Can't wait to see what happens by the end of the week.

Midnight Twilight Madness!!!

2009-03-22T19:21:00.003-06:00

The wall of merchandise just waiting to be bought.

Laura and Jessica getting gripey and tired of standing up...and it's only 11:15!!

ALMOST MIDNIGHT!!!!!! EVERYONE'S GETTING READY TO GRAB AND GO!!!!

Another shot of Jess- who is guarding her Twilight game!!!

Okay... I'll admit I didn't know a thing about Twilight until after me and kids saw the movie...but now I'm a total fan and completely obsessed at times. This past Friday night me and the girls plus a friend were one of those crazy people in the store waiting for this movie to be released. It was fun, a little tiring, but worth staying up til almost 3a.m. to watch it yet again!!!

Putting it all back............

2009-03-08T17:29:00.002-06:00

It is now a Sunday night and I've spent the weekend doing nothing but cleaning and putting back all the stuff I have spent the last 2 weeks moving around and cleaning... UGH! I am tired. But here is the end results, so far.

I can finally park in the garage again....on one side at least.

Another section of the garage, semi-arranged by category and/or subject.

My efforts so far at organizing the garage. It takes a lot of time to go through stuff, but the trash can is now my friend ha ha.

Here is the wall only painted...me and Kim got up Saturday and this was the first thing we did. It didn't take too long to paint the back wall of the garage, plus we did one section of the side, but it will have to wait until stuff is out of the way to paint the rest of it.

Hi Ho...Hi Ho.... It's off with my money they go.......

2009-03-05T20:00:00.002-06:00

YEAH!!!! I have piece and quiet now since my basement and yard is all done and all the workers have gone on their way.....here's the results!!

My once again level air conditioner unit........with lots of dirt around it.

The corner of the basement with the sump pump in it... I just wonder how noisy it will be when it kicks on....

The filled in concrete along the front of the house..................

And that oh so wonderfully junk filled, car-less garage......

And lastly...the new grading of the back yard...now all I need is some grass seed and straw. I just hope this works and was worth the $$$$$ I spent on this project. Time will tell.

Oh I love to see my yard and basement being torn up!!!

2009-03-05T08:58:00.002-06:00

Alrighty....In the quest to have a nice finished basement and more truly warm, functional living space, I must first prevent water leaks in the basement. Even though it only does it during rainy weather, still, there is no point in finishing it off just to get ruined. So, in doing so, I have hired a dry basement company to install a wall bracing system to stabilize the foundation since the mountain of dirt that is my backyard is ever so slowly pushing the wall in and put in a drainage system connected to a sump pump to keep my wonderful 400 +/- square feet dry. Here are pics from the first day of activity...and boy was it noisy!! I heard nothing but jackhammers most of the day...got Tylenol??

One thing I did ask them to do was remove this last remnant of satellite TV days gone by... the mushroom above is all that remains of the old 8-10 foot dish that my dad spent many days by watching when they owned the house. The top part is about 2 feet wide and 3 foot long.

Part of the trenching system along the wall downstairs. Lots is icky mold is at the bottom of the wall panels where they have gotten wet. And I believe I know what me and Kimberly's next tear down project is he he he.

Part of the floor jack-hammered out in my laundry area before the trench is laid and after the steel posts the previous owners had installed.

Another shot of the trench....see all that wonderful water damage and the white insulation board that has mold on it...yum-o!

And finally...the first project of the day yesterday...digging the trench in the backyard that will connect the foundation stabilization rods being put in...... I'll probably post more later today once the work is completed...

Finally...all packed up!

2009-03-04T09:19:00.002-06:00

Well...here's the results of yesterday spending the day moving around the CRAP in the basement.....

I even had to move the washer/dryer....ugh!! All the dust bunnies under there!

What little remains in the basement..I had to move everything at least 4 feet away from the wall....

And here's the garage I can no longer park in since it's too full of CRAP now.........Yeah Me!

When did all this happen????????

2009-03-02T22:19:00.002-06:00

I have only lived in my house a little over 3 1/2 years now, and looking at all this CRAP I'm moving around in my basement and garage for the work to begin, I am just amazed but also wondering when it all made it through my door from where-ever?? Lord knows when I half fled my former house, everything I owned/wanted/needed fit into the back of a big u-haul truck and fit so nicely into a 3x15 storage locker for a year and a half, so now I wonder if that jolt has made me a collector of crap-o-la that I don't really need nor have a use for? I have already been taking some hard looks at what I'm placing and packing up where, etc... which has significantly slowed down the process, so much so, that the workers will be early Wednesday morning, and my basement and garage is still full of stuff that needs moved. UGH! So, tomorrow it will be a rushed session of move it and dump it!!

Just one half of the garage....and I will be filling most of the other half tomorrow......

Part of the basement-in-progress......double ugh! I will be so ready for bed tomorrow night!

Hair Today.....Gone Tomorrow

2009-02-03T13:09:00.003-06:00

Well....after having long hair for ??? years, I decided to cut it off and donate it to Locks of Love. I've been thinking of doing this for several months now, but when I would mention it to my girls, they would get upset and basically tell me NO, probably because they've never really seen me with short hair. Who knows. Kids are weird. But anyway, I bit the bullet and made my appointment, and today went and did it. They cut off 14 inches of ponytail alone for the donation, and that doesn't even include the few more inches they cut to trim it up and put some soft layers in...but there's the result.

The before shot, with all the heavy hair and curls. I can't even tell you how many years I've worn it this length now...too many if I don't remember!

I've always been a re-arranger...

2009-01-14T08:48:00.003-06:00

Okay...I'll admit it. I've always been a re-arranger. When I was a kid, it would be nothing for me to re-arrange my bedroom at least once a month. I just got bored with keeping things the same way, in the same order, and to this day I'm still somewhat like that, only on a less frequent basis. But, in the 3 1/2 years I've owned my house now, the living room has seen several changes. This picture above and below is the most recent arrangement that happened after the Christmas tree was taken down. I like how the far wall in the foyer acts like my fourth wall in the living room. Now, if I could only do something about that horrible ceiling fan in the entry!

These two pics, above and below, is how the furniture was placed for the past couple of years.

And these last two pics is what the living room looked like after I moved in and finally got around to painting after almost a year of living here. I still have lots of clutter everywhere, but I'm working on that. At least the picture frames are on the wall, even if there are no pics in them yet, as my sister pointed out at the holidays. Someday. Anyway, what way looks the best? I still can't decide.

Sometimes I hate my kids.....

2009-01-13T21:53:00.002-06:00

Not really hate, per say, but I get so frustrated with them I want to wring their little necks. It has not even but 2 1/2 weeks since Christmas, and already a fairly $$ present has already been dropped and broke. UGH!! Then to top it off, she acts like its no big deal. Hell of a job I've done teaching them to respect and appreciate their belongings. NOT. So now I'm quite irritated and after yelling at the kid about respect and appreciation, and how they are lucky to have all the CRAP CRAP CRAP they have, all it leaves me is a kid bawling and having a damn headache. But, I know I have no one else to blame but myself. No mother of the year here.

Cousin pics....

2009-01-05T17:29:00.003-06:00

Here's the last cousin pic of 08.....most of the kiddos cooperated with looking at the camera, but it was impossible to get all 6 of them to do it at once. Each shot we took, and there was like 6 or 7 total that was attempted, all had someone looking away or having their eyes closed or a dorky smile. This is the one we settled on. I think as they get older we are going to have to get more creative with the themes which would especially please the teenager of the group who thinks we know nothing of course. And I'm going to need a bigger wall to hang them all up. Cute cute.

My favorite Christmas Gift....

2008-12-26T21:21:00.001-06:00

The pic says it all............. my favorite. :)

Holiday Cheer.....

2008-12-18T09:11:00.004-06:00

Here's the Christmas Tree for this year... througly decorated by the girls, who fought the whole time about what to put where..but it turned out good anyway...my heinz 57 tree!!

Another example of my handy-dandy crafty work, the wreath for the front door.

My handmade table arrangement.....made with mostly leftovers from the wreath.

The wonderful Christmas lights on the outside of the house, I'm just glad I didn't have to hang them!

The house from another angle, all lit up.

And the first year I actually managed to get my s'mores tree put up!! Yeah me! Anyway, with the big day only a week away, have a good one! Here's to getting your presents wrapped and spreading the holiday cheer!!! XOXO.

Twilight

2008-11-30T15:47:00.003-06:00

The girls and I went to see the much buzzed about movie Twilight last night, much to Kimberly's disgust. She was irritated that HSM3 wasn't playing anymore and she was being dragged along with her mother and sister to see Twilight. She changed her mind afterwards. I knew nothing about the story or characters except that it had a vampire in it and teenage girls and people everywhere were going nuts about this movie. I must say, I liked it so much that right after the movie was over, we went to the bookstore next to the theater and bought the book to read. Probably not the proper way to do it, but oh well. There is not much proper about me, ha. The movie was very engaging throughout and well done I thought. It gets 4 out of 5 popcorn bags from me. Now me and Jess just have to fight over who's going to read the book when and how without waiting on the other.

Let it Snow....

2008-11-30T15:35:00.003-06:00

Today is the second day of snow fall this month. The first was about a week ago, but it didn't leave any evidence like the most recent activity. The temp has been hovering right around freezing all day, and thankfully not playing havoc with the roads this time. Just lots of pretty flurries on and off all day. Plus, I still have green grass at the end of November!! Who would've thunk it! The girls and me have spent part of our day decorating the living room and windows for the holidays, with plenty of gripen' at each other I might add. This week when I'm off I plan to get my Christmas wreath all done and ready for the front door and finish up inside with those last touches. I just like sitting inside and watching the snow fall while being glad I don't have to get out in it today.

A November Rainbow......

2008-11-07T13:37:00.002-06:00

So, how unusual is a double rainbow in November? This is exactly what happened yesterday as me and the girls were bringing in goodies from the van after we got home. It had been a rather cloudy overcast kind of day and the air was getting colder and wind was blowing faster by the minute. Then we felt a few drops of wetness starting to hit us. And when we looked up here is what we saw. The double rainbow. The second bow is pretty faint, but you can see it fairly well. I had Jess run and get the camera and snapped a few quick shots before the moment was lost. I like how the sun is really shining on that one tree with a few remaining leaves and hedge apples left on it. Just thought I'd share. Rainbows are an awesome treat anytime you see one!

UUUGGGHHHH.............

2008-11-04T21:44:00.002-06:00

Ugh....I am so indecisive right now about which Masters program to apply to for my MSN. I just don't know what the heck to do. Decisions decisions. There isn't really a whole lot of difference between required classes or curriculum from the looks of program outlines. The biggest difference is all in the $$$$ and the NAME of the school. So..do I spent the $$ for the name or go with what I feel works best for me? I just don't know. Oh well. I'm going to go sleep on it. Again.

Halloween Hauntings.....

2008-10-31T20:44:00.002-06:00

Since we are in for the night now, I decided to post pics taken earlier this evening. Here are the girls doing their version of ganster attitude, ha ha. They are so bad.....in the hood.. NOT!

Here's Jessica in her very own shot...the ghostly princess.

And here's Kimmy as the scary rose princess.....what is with making cute little princesses scary anyway?

Now you see it....now you don't....

2008-10-31T12:39:00.003-06:00

Alrighty....it's been a bit since I've posted, but not much has really been going on. Here is a pic of the shed in my back yard, but not for long. I've lived here 3 years now and I think its been opened twice. Maybe. I just have no real use for the shed. I have a double garage, and whatever needs to be stored goes on the side I don't park in. So..... after a bit of debating, I decided to sell it, which really ended up being a trade. The guy getting it did some painting and other various jobs around my house in exchange for the shed. Sweet deal I think. My dad even signed off on the deal, so even he thinks its a good one. Got the DAD seal of approval, ha ha. The only one saying "you'll regret it someday" is the bf. But, not like he lives here. I just do not me really needing it, but who knows. Someday I might wished I kept it. But definitely not right now. But anyway......Here's what the barren back yard looks like without the big white shed in it. Since the ground is fairly level back there, I'm thinking of this spring putting down some kind of paver/patio kind of thing and setting some chairs up there and having a nifty seating area that's away from the house. The woods are becoming more see through everyday as more and more of the leaves come down off the trees. I can see some pretty yellows and reds, but mostly brown. Fall can be so depressing sometimes. But I plan to enjoy trick or treating tonight in the balmy 60's with no cold, wet, rainy nights in sight that good ole Missouri usually treats us too. Happy Halloween all!

Pumpkin Carvings '08

2008-10-19T18:54:00.003-06:00

Here are Kim and Jess de-gutting those wonderful orange balls we retrieved from the fields of the pumpkin patch.

If you squint REAL hard, you might be able to see the outlines of the designs in the dark...I need to get brighter lights for the insides.
But we had fun as usual with our annual pumpkin killings.

Refrigerator....where art thou?

2008-10-17T10:15:00.005-06:00

Oh refrigerator where art thou? A question I'm sure many have asked after seeing mine and how much "stuff" it is buried under at any given moment of time. Schedules, magnets, pictures, kid related artwork or mementos, stickers, business cards....I could go on and on. All those hosts on all those home decorating/design/real estate shows my sister thinks I'm addicted too would shudder walking into my house and seeing the hub of the kitchen covered in all its "jewelry" adorned glory. But I don't really care. I would loose my mind if it weren't for my beloved refrigerator keeping me on task some days. Granted, its cluttered. Its ugly. Its very very busy...worse than someone wearing plaid pants and a striped shirt together. But its mine. And its a handy thing that I can't really loose, no matter how hard I would try, the frig won't fit in a drawer somewhere to be forgotten. Nope...it just sits there in its very own corner of the kitchen, minding its own business. Except when the freezer spits ice cubes out at me in protest of being too full when I open the door. Ice...and lots of it, you see, is a good thing. So decorating shows be darned everywhere...I will remain politically incorrect and my treasures of the frig will remain where they are! What does yours look like?

Why oh why....

2008-10-14T07:08:00.002-06:00

Why, oh why...can I not use the bathroom by myself? A new phenomenon known to all mothers in the world. First it was my girls, especially when they were toddlers who would follow me everywhere I went, and now its the cats who give me those puzzled looks while just staring. Then I try to talk to them and tell them to leave, and they just give you that "What are you talking about look?" I remember when the girls were little and the barrage of questions..what are you doing...why are you doing that...can I do that...I want to do it....I can do it mommy...can I flush for you? Over and over and over....several times a day. It does no good to shut the door since that would just result in constant knocking or crying, but I really can't decide which is worse...the cats or the kids...little kid knocks vs. cat paws scratching at and under the door. The girls would do an occasional trying to eyeball under the door, attempting to see whatever. Even today, the girls occasionally follow me in there to continue their stories of the utmost importance, but I believe the cats are worse. All three of them help me out with my morning ritual... It's like my good morning security check...shower clear...sink clear...behind the toilet clear...behind the door clear...you need to pick your clothes up off the floor lady...clear. I haven't seen you yet today... I'm just letting you know I'm still here.... underfoot and in the way, but the bathroom is clear for duty. Thanks furballs.

Hedgeapples anyone??

2008-10-10T10:55:00.003-06:00

Anyone want to come and pick up hedgeapples from my yard? These annoying green/yellow balls are dropping like flies this time of year from the Osage Orange trees, which are cousins to the mulberry tree, around the forest my house backs up too. They drop with loud "thuds" to the ground and roll until they find their final resting spot. It is actually considered a fruit, but I don't know anyone who eats it. Folklore states they may act as natural bug/insect repellents by placing them in basements or along house foundations. The wood is of the tree has the highest BTU rating when dried and burned as firewood. It is also used as a durable fence posts. The tree is native to southern Oklahoma and northern Texas, but was spread across the mid west by settlers planting them as natural fence rows. It also has the highest strength of all woods when used for making primitive bows. The tree was named after the Osage Indians. All you wanted to know about hedgeapples plus some, huh......

Isn't this a pretty site.....

2008-10-09T17:51:00.002-06:00

This morning on my way out of town.....
and this afternoon coming back into town..... At least one good thing about the economy tanking and the stock market going to crap.... Those a$$es at the oil companies profits are shrinking since they aren't getting as much for a barrel anymore.... HA HA....take that!! Not that it really helps what's going on in the world any, but I'll take cheaper gas.

More Creativeness

2008-10-09T07:06:00.003-06:00

So, the creativeness at our household continues.. Here above is my cornucopia stuffed with all sorts of fake harvests. I'm not quite done with it, as I don't really like the result yet... I'm going to Lee's Summit today to Hobby Lobby and Micheal's and looking for more items to add to it and my wreath. So I'm sure I'll take it all out and start over. My OCD side kinda takes over and ruins craft projects sometimes, probably why they all sat in the basement for how many years? Ha.
Creativeness happens, no matter if you like the result or not. I bought a bunch of clay flower pots and black paint, so the girls could paint Halloween themed jack-o-lantern faces on them, to use for decorations on the outside steps and in the house to hold candy. Thought it was a pretty good idea, lifted from a mag that I have. But here are the darlings hard at work.
Jessica taking her time.
Can you tell its a ghost? See it saying BOO? Kim's idea, to have the ring of ghost going around the clay pot.
4 of the 7 final results. I have no idea what I'm going to do with 7 of them, but oh well. They can always be painted over, ha ha.

Fun Outings...part 1...The Liberty Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch

2008-10-05T15:55:00.004-06:00

You may have noticed the post are numbered backwards, but this is actually day two of our weekend, when me and the girls drove up to Liberty to go to the corn maze and pumpkin patch, since Kimberly was bitterly against going to WalMart for them. The corn maze could easily be a place you spend all day walking through. Each year a different design is cut into the tall, tall corn, and this year was a Kansas City Zoo theme. The entire field had 5 different mazes cut representing different animals, as well as the zoo logo all with the aide of GPS. Wonder what they did in the old days without gps.... But anyway, it was hard enough during the day and all lit up with sunshine, I can't imagine what its like at night since the place stays open until 10pm. Very interesting for sure. Advertising of course....
I am standing on top of the entrance bridge into the maze, and here are the girls standing by our particular maze we went through. All 2.6 miles of the antelope and rhino one! I was never so glad to see that circle entrance again.....let me tell ya.
On the entrance bridge of the maze after we got through it all. We were all hot and sweaty and ready to go after this. It was a pretty day, just a tad too hot....80 degrees!! At least the wind was blowing.
Back at the farm where all today's activities are. Here the girls are helping out at the pig races, being cheerleaders.
Watching and cheering as the piggies go by.

The farm had all sorts of cut out, painted designs that you could stick your head through and take a picture, and of course, my girls had to stop and pose. At every. single. one!!!!!! I have them on tractors, as ghost, as ears of corn, as various farm animals, as a baseball player, driving a nascar sponsored by the farm, and as pumpkins as you can see....
Here they are on the little mini train that takes you on a ride, for a price of course...
And "mining" rocks.....for another price, ha ha......
Here was are riding out to the actual pumpkin patch, being pulled out by a tractor that our wooden platform cart is being pulled by.
And finally, standing in the middle of the pumpkin patch, ready to take off in search of the perfect orange balls to dissect later on this month. All in all, a good day, and one that the girls have voted to repeat again next year. Now all we need to do is go the the apple orchard before it gets too much later in the month.

Fun Outings...part 2....The KC Ren Fest

2008-10-05T15:27:00.004-06:00

This weekend was full of fun, away from home activities for us. First, Saturday we made the long drive to Bonner Springs KS and went to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival. It was the first time me and the girls had ever gone, and it sounded like fun so we went. It was interesting seeing everyone in costume- workers and visitors alike. They had lots and lots of craft "from the era" HA! which you could buy for a ridiculously high price, and demonstrators plying their trade from the era, which seemed more realistic, but I don't know too many people needing chain link armour these days. But it definitely was interesting....

Here are the only things I bought the girls at the place, their hats. Kimberly wanted her princess hat only because it was blue of course, and Jessica picked out a jester hat, which they wore the rest of the day. I even tried on Kim's hat, which you will see at the end of this post.
You could ride a camel or an elephant, and the girls picked the peanut eater. $4 bucks each for a 40 second ride, but it made them happy.
This here is part of the parade that walks the entire route of the festival several times a day I believe. Here, in character are King Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn and their court as they go by.
Here is Kim's choice for face painting. Again, all costing $$$.
And Jessica's choice of her tiger. More moo-lah spent.

And Me, as promised, modeling the princess hat that Kim was tired of wearing because the chin strap was bugging her.

Adventures in the basement continue...

2008-09-29T12:21:00.003-06:00

Well..the basement handy work continues. Above is the result of my dad's contribution to the project. He worked 30+ years at our local university's physical plant doing the work most take for granted to keep the place running and put those skills to good use in my basement patching cracks in the foundation for me. Me and Jessica played assistants and did whatever we could to help, even if my daughter moaned and groaned about it.
And here's the final (for now) project after I finished painting the area. All I need now is the construction people to come over and tell me how much of a hit my pocketbook is going to take to see this vision come to life. This is a short but sweet post, lol.

My sister isn't the only crafty one in the family....

2008-09-26T10:06:00.002-06:00

Okay....I have my crafty moments here and there, even if they are few and far between anymore. This "fall" wreath is a result of one of those times. It is not quite done yet, but I wanted to see where I was at, and the kitchen bar wasn't providing enough contrast to see it very well. You can still see wires from the frame I am using to build it. But not too bad an effort right now. It will be full of fall leaves for now, and other "harvest" items like gourds and corn, and maybe even some mini bales of straw...wouldn't that be cute?? Later on in October I will be adding the more Halloween-ie type icons to it, like good ole' pumpkins or maybe some candy corns. I have my cornucopia on the table, waiting to be filled with the leftovers from my wreath project. I might even break out the Christmas wreath project I've only had for like 5 years now and finish it before the holiday comes and goes. Next week me and the girls will be painting plain ol' clay pots with jack-o-lantern faces to display on the front steps and use inside to hold candy and treats. After our trip to the corn maze and pumpkin patch we will participate in our annual pumpkin killings and carvings...so keep posted and I'll show you more pics as all our little projects progress. Now I just can't wait until cold fall evenings curled up with some oh-so-yummy hot chocolate and marshmallows.

Another weekend project tackled

2008-09-21T16:08:00.005-06:00

Here's an old picture of the "before". Basically the same layout, only more stuff after living here for 3 years. I am moving forward with my plans for construction, and decided on the basement changes instead of the kitchen, since it will be cheaper obviously. The kitchen will have to wait until I can save up enough to do it the way I want to do it. Another room down here in the basement is also on the list after this one is done, but for now it will serve as my storage room, since the garage is full of un-sold garage sale stuff. Step one was to clean this part out, which I did one day last week on a day off from work. That consisted of moving out an entire collection of stored nick-nacks, books, heavy! wardrobe cabinet, and "stuff" to the room adjoining this one. So, yesterday me and youngest daughter, who wanted the nick-name destructor-nator, tore out the closet to get the ball rolling.

It really wasn't too bad, and only took 3 hours total, which surprised me. Two hours of tearing out and one hour of cleaning up the mess. Kim was much more interested in the "banging" part of tearing out the shelves and cedar board lining the walls of the closet with the hammer than the cleaning part, but she was a good helper for sure. The child whose room this will eventually be sure wasn't interested in helping, but I will put her to work later in the process, he he he...

This is what Kim does when mommy is busy...takes pictures of me without me being aware. But oh well. I guess it shows I was actually doing the work and enjoying it. It was burning calories and making me sweat anyway. Plus it was saving me moo-lah, which is always a good thing.

Here is the final result, post cleaning and removing of the stuff, for today anyway. Now I'm just waiting for the people I've called to come and give me bids on the construction part of the project. My dad will be coming over this week to help repair some cracks in the foundation wall so I can seal the concrete later on this week. Then I can call the window people to put in a new energy efficient one, vs. the 1970's era one that might as well be open all the time! Oldest child better appreciate her future room by golly.

Here's the poor adjacent room with all the "stuff"...as you can see, this is only half the room. I'm glad I'll have several months this coming winter to really go through it all real good and sort the keepers from the trash or garage sale stuff. Then I'll have to find a place for what's left over when its time to do this room next spring, since nothing will stay where it presently is. Cheers to weekend projects!

What the hell are people thinking????

2008-09-17T20:59:00.003-06:00

Okay...me and the paramedic went to KC the other day so he could get some new work boots from Paramedic Supplies Galore and Other Crap You Don't Really Need on Noland Road. We went, he shopped, and I was bored. It would have been so much better if we had gone to Nursing Crap You Don't Need. After his selection was picked we left to go to some other stores along Noland, mainly Old Time Pottery and Hobby Lobby. One guess as to who picked those stores ha ha.

Anyway...as we were driving down the aisle minding our own business in the parking lot to stop and go in, we crossed paths with not one, but two cars, haphazardly darting cross-ways across the parking lot, right in front of us, not paying attention. Jay, of course being the OCD "safety" trained ambulance driver that he his, basically yelled out to these other cars asking them WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?? Or whatever version of that you can imagine. He was a lot nicer than I would have been. Not really yelling AT them, but more just yelling out. Our windows happened to be down since the weather was nice. Well, we parked, and proceeded to get out to go to the store. And I'll be damned if not one, but BOTH of these stupid assholes who were driving where they shouldn't have been in the parking lot to begin with.... took the time to turn around and pull up to us, asking us if WE had a problem with the way they were driving!!!!!!!!!!!!! Both of these crazy people were trying to pick a fight in the parking lot just because. At the same time. All I was thinking is Great...I'm going to get shot and I'm not even in the hood...and I hope the stores have cameras in the parking lots so they can show it on the damn news tonight.... I mean really! What the hell are people thinking when they do stupid shit like this?? Over something as ignorant as parking lot driving.

They must take great offense to being called on them driving somewhere they shouldn't have been to begin with. I can see why people get shot over tennis shoes and hamburgers if this is the mentality of today's world. How sad this whole situation was and a bit scary for a few minutes. I will say that for once, I was glad the paramedic was still in his work uniform, so he looked kinda cop-like, and one of the "perps" who looked all of 16 backed off and left. But come on people!! That's what rules are for.

Tuesday tellings are back.....

2008-09-09T19:33:00.002-06:00

Who was your favorite teacher and why? I will never be able to write it well enough to describe, but here is my pitiful attempt. My favorite teacher of all time was probably Mr./Coach Mills, who taught high school algebra and also coached the boys basketball teams. The only year I had a class with him was my freshman year, and I remember being really upset not getting into his class the following year. Not that math was my all time favorite subject, but he had a way of presenting it to the class where there was never a dull moment. He had several unique qualities, some would say passe', some would say condescending. I liked his class because I learned. And learned a lot, but I also remember him fondly to this day. I even wrote a college paper about him back in the day. He never made me feel stupid or like I couldn't come to him when I didn't understand. He was always more than willing to meet you early or stay later to answer questions. I think that's what I appreciated mostly. Plus he took a rather mundane topic and made it fun.

Coach, as he liked to be called, was an old fashioned guy. Not all pack in moth balls old, but he believed in complementing the young ladies who wore dresses or skirts to class. To the point of making them stand up beside their desk while paying them a compliment at the beginning of class. He also would not let the ladies in the class sharpen their own pencils. He would make a boy in class do it for them, since the ladies had to raise their hands to let Coach know. You better hope you remembered to do it before HIS class!! And God forbid he find out it was your birthday....because if he did...he picked 2 boys from class to kneel down on one knee, one on each side of you, hold one of your hands, and proceed to sing happy birthday to you!! If he found out you had a crush on a certain boy..guess what...that would be one of the ones singing to you. All of these efforts were done in order to "teach the young men in class how to be gentlemen" as he would say. Or just embarrass the hell out of us girls...I never did really figure out which he liked to do more.

The best part of class was when grading papers, or going over new material, or quiz time...didn't matter which. We would play our own version of Pac-Man or Ms. Pac-Man. I hope you all are old enough to either have played this game, or at least heard of it and know what its about. If not, Google it. Anyway, Coach would pick one lucky or unlucky person in class and ask them a question. If you got it right, then everything was great. If not, however....not only you, but either each person sitting in front and back or either side of you would be assigned extra homework problems, depending on which version the class was playing. And you better hope Coach wasn't in a bad mood, because then otherwise you plus all 4 of those sitting around you got extra homework. I think it made the class competitive with each other more than anything. There seemed to be a spirit of "one-up-man-ship" always going on. There were boys vs. girls rounds of Pac-Man, or just the guys playing, or just the girls... it varied from day to day. We could earn extra points with "bonus rounds", but those could also backfire. And if it backfired, you were not to popular to those you sat around, believe me. Extra homework problems sucked. To me, it just made me want to learn and study and try my hardest in his class versus others where you just did it because you had too. And it didn't matter if you were involved in sports or a popular kid or a "nerd". It was having fun and learning at the same time.

20 + 15

2008-09-07T19:54:00.002-06:00

20 plus 15 equals 35. That is how much weight I've lost now during my own advendure in self guided and free weight loss program. I said I would post every 20, but I need this a little early to ward of frustration. Its been quite slow going here lately. I've not been horrible, but definitely not as good as I could have been at times. At least it keeps going down and not up. I hate plateaus too. Food diaries are an extremely eye opening and useful tool, for sure. I still only weigh myself weekly and not daily like when I first started out. I am still struggling to get those 5 fruits and vegetables every day and I don't really know why. I like probably 95% of the available choices out there. I prefer quick and easy, which a lot of my days off are spent planning and preparing so work days can be fast and easy. That is half the battle there..not to rely on food from work is the other half. If I do, its strictly salad days.

Structure and routine are quite comforting, if not a little boring at times. Mine has been interrupted lately with my walking buddy move 1/2 way across the country, so those days I drug myself out only because I didn't want to let her down, have now become easy excuses to say the heck with it today..I will walk tomorrow...which, I'm sure you know how that turns out, ha ha. So, I'm needing to get back into a routine, only an independent one now. Any "class" form of public exercise simply horrifies me, as my paranoia (as in, OMG! look how fat she is!!) would only serve to defeat any positive aspect I would gain. Maybe someday, but that's like another 80 lbs away.

Anyway, this post is not really to toot my own horn, but to put down on cyber paper that I am making progress and doing fairly well at it. And to remind myself to not blow it because these last 15 lbs have taken twice as long to loose as the first 20 did. A wise dietitian I work with at the H told me I didn't gain it overnight, so therefore, I will (sadly) not be loosing it overnight either. And all the miracle diets in the universe won't do that either, no matter what they claim on the tele. Here's to the next 5!

My tomboy...

2008-09-05T09:20:00.003-06:00

Isn't this the look that says "hurry up and take the damn picture already"?
Yesterday, my "baby" turned 11 years old. This year, as last year, she's ALL about Star Wars. We have every imaginable merchandising option there is out there I think. This year is the year of the Lego. Star Wars Lego's that is. Just more of those annoying little pieces to embed into my foot when I least expect it. What am I going to do with all this stuff when this phase is no longer "cool" ? She is definitely my independent child..and the tomboy. This is the child who brings me bugs and frogs, doesn't care an ounce about what she looks like- no matching clothes or dresses for her please, has to be told every!! single! day!! to do such mundane tasks like comb her hair, wash her face, wipe food off her mouth. Rides her bike and plays outside all day and all night if I would let her. The tween years are in full swing, although in "boy" mode right now. But she took snacks to school to share with her class, and my weekend will be filled with a house full of girls running around underfoot staying up too late to celebrate the 11th year of life! Now, may the force be with me as I battle the dark side of the tweens!

What if....

2008-09-05T08:15:00.005-06:00

Okay....I'm definitely not one that gets all involved in politics or gets all excited about it in the least. I'm not a declared Dem or Repub, and will never vote straight ticket. I vote for who I think will do the best. I do vote most of the time in all local, state, and national elections though. The rhetoric and usual campaign slogans have been in over-drive and I've been sick to death of all the back and forth crap we'll been listening to for almost a year now, with 2 more months of it to go...at least the end is in site!! For 4 years anyway. With the RNC getting over last night and the DNC last week, I watched to "festivities" and listened to the speeches of the major players involved, and I still don't know who's going to get my vote in November. They all are saying the same basic things, slinging the same basic mud, etc. etc. etc. Too bad politics are not like the movies, where the same old same old is usually frowned upon, and the new movie scripts are sought after constantly. Exceptions being every re-make and sequal out there of course. They might as well name this years movie: "Election '08....The Re-make" since we've all seen it before. There have been glimmers of originality this year, with the PUMA vs. HOUND acronym war. And lets not forget Obama's Superbowl/Greek god/MLK wanna be speech in front of the masses.

However, as I was watching the RNC during Palin's speech and hearing the same bs that we've been hearing for months I decided I like her. Does she have the experience or presence to be VP or step in as Prez....hell no I don't think so, but neither does Obama. I like her just because I can somewhat relate to her, more so than any of the other choices. She's a woman and mother who works for a living. She comes off as smart but also sassy, which Washington needs a good dose of, for sure. She has this rogue Alaskan wilderness mystique about her. Will she be effective in the next two months without every word she speaks being written for her? Time will tell. Was is a calculated move for the elephants...of course it was..they hope to get all of Hill's votes...DUH! How horrible is this thought....What if McCain stopped breathing his last breathes in him for his country, leaving Palin in charge? Then I MIGHT have someone I would like to vote for instead of picking the lessor of evils. Let's make this election the national equivalent of Minnesota and their off the wall politics, and vote for ???

I can see clearly now...

2008-09-02T18:26:00.005-06:00

Some lightening I caught on film the other day during a storm that rolled through...I was out on the good ol' front steps once again enjoying the weather.
The crazy clouds going by at the same time the sun was setting. Just thought it was a pretty sight and here sharing it. I like how the rain renews and washes all the dirt away, so the lyrics of a song seemed best for the title of this post.

Nurse Me.....

2008-09-02T09:05:00.003-06:00

This is me right after my pinning ceremony, and not the greatest pose or picture.
This is me that same day, only earlier, as we had to go through the commencement ceremony first, then pinning was in the afternoon.

But as this semester in school progresses, I have been thinking of where I want to go in my nursing career. I should be done with my BSN this next May, after two remaining nursing classes to go that of course can't be offered the same semester...that would be too easy! I am a charge nurse at a fairly rural hospital now, although I have worked in more rural areas. I have worn many different hats in my career so far, and have dabbled in management, but have been a staff nurse mostly. Do I want to do this the rest of my life...not really, but I know I don't really want to be a part of upper management either. I am too quick to act and too slow to think a lot of the time, and my mouth tends to get me in trouble. Political correctness is not a strong point of mine...I instead, prefer to call it like I see it, and managers just don't believe in doing that.

I am thinking of gearing my Masters program towards a Nurse Educator focus instead of FNP. I could be a part of teaching the next generation of nurses someday. Nursing research isn't really my thing either...and kudos to those who do work in this important arena of nursing. I do enjoy when the area nursing students are doing their clinical in my hospital. With several different nursing programs in my area, we see students at the hospital frequently. I don't believe perpetuating the old adage of 'nurses eating their young' as I have experienced many, many times in the short 8 years I have been a nurse. Change must start at some point in time. The attitude is an old, mostly unspoken, persistent one, and instead of documenting it (as researchers are doing) it is time to stop it. And that starts at the beginning....as a teacher in the classroom. Not making your students lives hell just because that is what you experienced in nursing school and clinical.

It did not make you a stronger, more prepared nurse. It only added to the stress already squeezing you from all directions. Nursing school is stressful...that speech they gave us on orientation day was true: now is not the time to change jobs, get pregnant, change your hair style, etc...it was somewhat true: the person sitting on each side of you might not be here in 2 weeks or 2 months...this program is hard and stressful..very true for me: if you don't have a solid relationship with your boyfriend/spouse, nursing school will not make it any easier, and divorces have happened! Scare tactics at their best...and they did have inklings of truth behind them. You should be helped, encouraged, supported, and validated...not torn down just because that's the way it was "back in the day". Class dismissed.

Cousins are the bestest thing.....

2008-08-26T10:11:00.003-06:00

Like my sister has said, we do cousin pictures. And often. As in about anytime we get a chance which is a challenge at times considering distance. These were taken WAY back in July in St. Louis, and it took awhile to get them, thanks to JC Penneys inability to mail things. But we got a few good ones. Hard to get 6 kids to do what you want at the same time. But worth the effort to capture the little darlings on film. The new challenge will be figuring out somewhat coordinating outfits, since my 13 year old thinks matching outfits is SOOOO passe' now. Arg. Teenagers! That is why we went with the bright colored shirts this time.
Here's just the girl cousins, piling on top of each other which is another tradition of cousin pics at times. Aren't they just adorable!!

STAR WARS: The Clone Wars

2008-08-26T07:22:00.004-06:00

OKAY....all you Star Wars nuts out there......Especially my 10 year old daughter!!! This weekend I signed part of my paycheck away to the local movie theater so my Kimmy could see the newest Lucas Film production. After all, I've only been hearing about it for the past 4 months, at least. She sat front row center, ditching dear old Mom (me) as soon as she had her Diet Coke and Sour Gummy Worms in hand so she could "concentrate" on the movie. In other words, so I wouldn't be asking her who so and so was or why they were going there during the movie. Now I like Star Wars, and have seen ALL the movies and even own them all on DVD. However, I do not obsess about it the way others do. My dear Kimmy has books, posters, movies, toys, games, and magazines so she can be in Star Wars Heaven 24/7 if she so wishes. I remember seeing The Return of the Jedi in the theater when I was a kid, and the opening credits of Clone Wars still gave me a light case of goosebumps when seeing that "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." and hearing that iconic theme music. As far as the movie, it was okay. Just okay. Kimmy thought it was GREAT of course. It had familiar characters, although in digital animation form, but the lightsabers still sounded the same, ha ha. Yoda not I am. It made my Kimmy happy, so therefore it was worth it to see the smile on her face and feel her excitement.

My Weekend Project....Phase I

2008-08-26T06:47:00.003-06:00

As you can see, it was an outside project. The August weather here in MO has been quite un-summer like lately, with me having my windows open and temps being in the upper 70s/low 80s and very tolerable humidity, which never usually happens until Sept/Oct. Good timing, since I hate summer usually, but not when its like this outside. The concrete pad you see used to house an icky rotting plywood trash can cubbie area that was torn down this winter. At least SOME of the elephant ears that me and the girls planted earlier this year are alive. I didn't know what to expect after them being in the garage for a year ha ha. We pulled all the weeds from this flowerbed, and then went to our local Lowe's and picked up the edger bricks and plenty of mulch to complete our day...after all, what's a weekend without a trip to Lowes? I still need to do something with that stark white hunk of concrete sticking out, but that can wait until phase II.
Here's the big view of our little project. There are more elephant ears behind the green pot along the foundation of the house. The three containers were given to me by a woman I work with for helping her move. I still need to get grass seed in front of the flowerbed where a tree stump was taken out. Green thumb I do not have.
And for the last project of the weekend....another weed infested flowerbed rescued. Or should I say cleaned out finally and mulched. Even see the temporary, 1/2 a$$ed effort beside the steps? That is too keep all my dang dirt from washing away when MO monsoon season hits again until I get something more permanent in place. I'm sure the neighbors appreciate my increasing their property value by 10 cents by me cleaning up my weeds. Speaking of neighbors...I have yet another set of new ones moving in. This will be the 3rd new set in just as many years, a hazard of living close to an AFB, where the military likes to move people around quite frequently. But oh well.

Chapter One of many to come....

2008-08-15T19:42:00.006-06:00

I can honestly say that I've thought of writing a book. Who hasn't? Don't really know if it would be a good read or not, but they say everyone has a story to tell and I'm no different. Of course being a best seller and appearing on Oprah would be nice, ha ha. I do have a story to tell, and I have thought often here lately about what it would be. By some standards my life has been one drama after another, and by others it has been very boring. I by no means am the world adventure traveler, barely being out of my home state of Missouri. I have had the pleasure or misfortune, depending how you look at the glass, of having had many experiences. Some wonderful, some painful, but hence the reason for having a story to tell. The format I would use is where each chapter in my book has a lesson that I've learned about myself after some reflecting, some comments, and some insight offered by others. I already have the title: "The Courage To...." and go from there.

Each chapter, as I imagine it, would reflect a different period or experience in my life and what I think I've learned about courage, as there been many. The very definition of it: the quality of being brave; the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action. Certainly not obvious words I would use to describe myself. A school social worker used both the words brave and courage in a sentence describing actions I had taken, leading me to her, hardly believing it at the time. But now I do.

The Courage To.....see a course of action through to the end.

I'm sure you've heard of second chances. I believe most people have had a second chance at some point in their life. I believe I've had a few of those now. Two of mine that stand out are tied to marriages ending. Yes, times two. The second one being the hardest. What that means for the eternal afterlife, I have no idea. What it meant for the here and now: worth every tear, worth every moment of pain and doubt, and worth every minute of being here for the future to come. The whole relationship was tumultuous. Drama all the time, mostly from step-daughters, but also a severely dysfunctional family to begin with, not adding what baggage I brought in. I'm not going to claim to be an angel, but I had never seen anything like it. I just wish I had seen it more so at the time, but I was so wrapped up in the euphoria of "Oh!! another man might want me after all". I met him several months after husband number one had walked out on me and our children. I was not in a good place mentally and absolutely had no place even trying to start a new relationship. I was on auto pilot, going through the motions of being alive. Daily thoughts of ending it all for me and my girls consumed me. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Still immersed in the current drama and events leading up to my babies daddy leaving, trying to make sense of it all, but couldn't. I was feeling betrayed, abandoned, used, and was very depressed. What little self-esteem I had was certainly gone at this point. But then, in he walked. He was picking up his teenage daughter who babysat my girls when the regular one was on vacation. He was cute, funny, and very charming. He never shut up, which was a total 180 compared to husband #1. He could tell a story, and keep an audience captivated. All part of his M.O. as I would later learn. It sure suckered me in. Years of being together, living together, and eventually committing to marriage, and yet I was miserable. Very miserable. The marriage was not good. Not what it should be. The whole time we were together. Why I stayed? I settled. Plain and simple. I figured nothing more would ever come along. I certainly didn't want to be alone. That was one of my greatest fears, to be alone, live alone, die alone, but not anymore.

I eventually saw and learned of many of his flaws. The selfishness, the lies, the spending money without regard, the temper were really obvious. It took awhile to learn of the secret ones, like the email/chatting with other women. While the mental/verbal abuse should have been obvious, they were not. I'm a slow learner at times, what can I say. All part of that river they call De Nile. The REALLY secret flaw reared its very ugly head one night by mistake. I knew he was looking at Playboy type pics and hiding them on files on our home computer, but never even suspected the hornets nest I uncovered one night. The routine went like this: I would find his files under stupid names like Tips. Confront him about it. He would deny it, then either change the file name, delete it, or move it. Then my search would start over again. Why I accepted and/or tolerated it? I have no idea. Well, was one such night after he had gone to bed. What I opened changed not only my life forever, but also my daughters. Success!! I had found the newest file named Golf. Seeming innocent until I started opening a few of the pics to see what they were. After viewing a few, I decided one more. Click. What I saw sent my heart pounding, leaving me breathless, like someone had punched me so hard in the gut I didn't know if I would recover. What I saw was a nudie pic of my oldest daughter, only to learn a few minutes later that my husband was the one taking them. I'll spare you any further details. That was a Thursday night, around 11:30 p.m. Talk about a sleepless night. And weekend. By 8 a.m. Monday morning, I was packing up and moving out. I will also spare you the details of the secret phone calls, and extensive planning that took place in the next 3 days that started after a visit to the sheriffs office to report dear husband's activities.

I deserve an Oscar for that weekend. I made it through to Monday morning without him suspecting a thing. I had to, as I felt in many ways my life depended on it. My kids were safe, and most importantly, we were all alive to move out. The minute he left for work the wheels were set into motion. My parents, an aunt, and many wonderful friends were on their way but first the sheriff showed up and searched the house and took evidence with them, as we had arranged. Then we all spent the next 3 1/2 hours packing up and taking everything from that house that I thought I wanted and/or needed. Packing, if you could call it that, consisted of throwing stuff together, tying it up, and shoving it in the moving truck. I wrote him a note, left my wedding rings on the counter, shut the door, and walked out, never to look back. Once my dad and aunt were on their way and my friends had departed after good-byes, my mom and me went into town to where I worked. I quit my job and got my last paycheck. Next stop was the court house for restraining orders. Last stop was to my daughters school to inform them of the situation. I had to get their records, pull them out of school and their lives and away from their friends, of which they had no idea what so ever of what was happening. We drove away from the school, all in tears. That was the hardest thing ever. That night I could not relax. At every sound I tensed up or every time the phone rang, as the husband kept calling and calling my parents house. My biggest fear was him showing up at their door. My dad had the attitude of "Let-Him". Anyway, the next few days were spent getting my daughters settled into their "new" lives- new schools, new routine, new everything. It was an adjustment all the way around. The next few months were spent filled with court dates, medical exams later to be used in court, interviews, and things I would rather forget. It took me 8 months of him fighting it to get divorced. It took even longer for the legal prosecution and conviction to happen.

And yet, to this day, the moment that stands out the most for me is a conversation I had with the school social worker named Liz. I made sure I spoke with the school resource people out of concern the toll of all the events might take on my daughters. I wanted as many sets of eyes watching them and looking out for them as possible for any issues that needed dealt with in counseling. Liz and I were in our umpteenth conversation talking, as I was always keeping her updated on the latest going-ons. She told me how brave and courageous I was for doing what I was doing. I asked her how she figured that. She told me that so many women in my place would have simply either ignored or over-looked it, not wanting to be forced to deal basically. Not wanting to report their husbands, definitely not sending them to prison. Not doing anything to protect their children, or doing what only they might be "forced" to do by authorities. Not doing anything to disrupt the abusive, dysfunctional relationships they were in. I must have had a funny look on my face, because she knew I didn't understand that concept. She went on to tell me that I was a really strong, determined, brave, and courageous woman to take this course of action. It was not an easy decision, but one that many women wouldn't have taken on. To me, I did the only thing that had to be done. This was no wishy-washy, sitting on the fence situation to me. I did the only thing that I had the choice to do. It was one thing to treat me like complete crap, but mess with my babies and that is a whole different thing. That is why I didn't not really understand her words, and the concept of staying with a man even if that meant harm to your children. Me, myself was different. I can accept many things and many different situations, but not that. I thought and thought about Liz's words, and how that one seemingly minor sentence stood out. It was only later on that I too, realized that what I was experiencing was and had been also affecting my daughters. We all had been harmed, only in drastically different ways. It just took me that realization of their physical harm to give me that kick in the A$$ that I needed to finally do something I had been wanting to do for so long. Leave. And I did it. I still really don't look at it as being brave or courageous. I really see it as the only option that was acceptable to me. There was no way I would have even thought about staying there in that house of horrors.

I hate being on call.......

2008-08-06T12:51:00.002-06:00

Today was a day I was supposed to work, but they called at 0530 this morning and put me on call, which I don't mind not being at work, it's just the on call part I hate. A lot in the summer patient census tends to be down, unlike flu/pneumonia season, so at times, they put staff on call, so they are not wasting the budget. It is such a wasted day because there are a million things I could be doing, but I dare not get too involved in any of them, because at a moments notice, work could call and say we need you to come in. So it tends to be a day confined mostly to the house doing those mundane tasks like laundry and dishes, etc..

It is allowing me to finish up a few minor projects, and putting together a project lists for the house by surfing the net for info and ideas, mostly for the kitchen and basement, for when they are remodeled this next year hopefully. Nothing to extravagant, but definitely updating and redoing a few select areas, like cabinets and counter tops. I'd hate to see what I would end up with a $50,000 dollar kitchen budget (I wish), but only if I win powerball ha ha....and even then I'd be calling my sis to guide the project. For my kitchen, the cabinets will be getting a face lift, and new counter-tops are a must. I'm thinking of bead board on the cabinets and carrying that look around the connected dining room with a bead board wainscoting and chair rail. I would absolutely love to move the location of the fridge, but not sure about that one yet. It is a pet peeve on mine being able to see it from the entry and living room. But again, more dreams and thoughts than $$. New back splash, but can't really decide what material to use...I like the idea of tile, especially glass tile, but the new tin tile looks amazing too. And I can't decide what to do with the soffit above the cabinets, besides tearing them out. Display space, or try to squish some extra storage up there? And of course, the color dilemma....It took me over a year to paint my living room for goodness sakes!! Leave the current flooring and just paint is the big plans. Of course, before lighting decisions and style and one thing leads to another.....which is why the basement will probably get done first, ha.

My oldest one has expressed the desire to move her bedroom to the basement in order to have a larger room, and since that space is not really used too much right now, I'm thinking about it. I told her it would be next summer before it happened anyway, and I'm not liking the idea of her being down there while I'm upstairs, so who knows. With that being said, youngest daughter of course has called dibs on oldest child's bedroom if those plans come to fruition, since she'd be gaining about all of 20 square feet ha ha for a "bigger" room. But then, instead of having my office/library in the basement, I could use youngest child's current bedroom for that. My oh my the plans...... We will see what actually happens though.

Vacation, part 2: The Entertainment Capital of the Midwest

2008-08-01T13:03:00.007-06:00

Kim riding bumper boats our last day in Branson
the girls go-karting

on Ride the Ducks
the parrot show at celebration city
me on the ferris wheel
more go-karting
the water slides we rode at White Water

the girls on a coaster at SDC
in old fashioned school at SDC
the magic show Jessica wanted to attend
before ride the ducks...and yes, they got to keep those annoying quackers!!
celebration city

Kim loves Elvis
the girls, not in black.
outside the Titanic Museum...sucks we couldn't take pics inside!!
upstairs at Ripley's
Branson Landing....it was lightening SOOOO bad when we were there

Two different vacations in 3 weeks, with a week of work thrown in between....I, for one, am glad we came, saw, and are back home. There is only so much vacationing I can handle before home looks good. Me and the girls spent another extended weekend in Branson MO and absorbed all its over-priced glory. We spent 5 days playing tourists and having fun at amusement parks and museums. We went to Silver Dollar City, Celebration City, White Water parks where I added to my not yet healed sun burns from St. Louis and swimming. We also went to Ripley's Believe it or not, Hollywood Wax Museum, and the Titanic Museum. We saw the Dixie Stampede show, did the Ride the Ducks, and hit Branson Landing for some retail vacation therapy. All in all, it was nice to get away from home and spend concentrated time together without the distractions of home and friends and work. I might even go back to Branson....someday. As with all tourist attractions, much of it was overpriced by my standards, the food was not impressive, and way too many people there for the size of the town..making driving the "strip" of Branson time consuming...taking 35 minutes to go no more than 4 miles....makes you learn the short cuts real quick. The girls got the biggest kick out of driving go-karts I think....and the 50's style diner where they fed quarters to the juke-box, playing Elvis and The Twist. But it was fun we all decided.

Momma's don't let your babies grow up......

2008-07-20T21:08:00.001-06:00

So, lately I've been putting all my old negatives onto digital Cd's so I can preserve all those old pictures. And I get so sad looking at some of these pictures, since they only emphasize how big my babies are now. When did the last 7 and 8+ years fly by so fast? Gone are the days when a mommy hug and kiss could fix any problem out there, or mend a broken heart and a boo-boo at the same time. I miss how their faces would light up just because I walked into their room in the morning to rescue them from the prison of their cribs. I miss the sounds of them talking to themselves or those oh-so-precious baby coos and the middle of the night snuggles. Or that wonderful kid logic of shoving things that don't belong into the heat vents or VCR opening and other various places. Or how proud they were of those three colored scribbles on a piece of paper (and hopefully not the wall) was fridge worthy art. Reminds me of times before teenage attitudes and constant sibling bickering took over and the endless tally keeping of who got what when and who gets in trouble for what. Just this past week I was holding my newest nephew and it never, ever seemed like my girls were ever that small. I know they were, but now it just doesn't seem like it. I was so excited for those first steps towards independence, but I admit I kinda miss being the complete center of someones universe.

Being a mother is such a double edged sword at times. It is the weird combination sacrifice and frustration, grace and contempt. It can be never ending thankless at times for sure. Does anyone really appreciate or truly understand what the mothers of the world go through until they actually walk in those shoes personally? I have a greater understanding and definite appreciation of some of the choices and reason behind those choices that my mom has made through the years on certain things. I hope to some things better, change things that were not so good, but most importantly, be the kind of mom who my kids will someday hope to be just a smidge like, just as I am when I think of my mom. And I need to remember that they grow up so fast, so stop sweating the small stuff.

St. Louis vacation.......and I'm glad to be home!!

2008-07-15T08:58:00.005-06:00

Here are the girls in the paddle boat they *begged* me to go on after eating at the Hard Rock Cafe at Union Station.
The darlings at the turtle playground.
me and ashford
at Ryan's eating at 9pm last night because they all were "starving" and they got balloon things made for them.

the favorite part of the trip i think...the magical hotel pool
guess where!!!
one of only 3 shots of all of us together this weekend taken by chinese tourist we were riding up with.
stalking things on the ground from way up high....don't you love how much Kimmy is into getting the perfect view??
playing on the edge of the mighty Mississippi at the base of the arch. they are standing on steps still buried in mud from the flooding.

at the magic house
me and a mirrored ceiling!!
at the science center
at the monsters exhibit at science center, seeing what kind of feast they would be for a gator.the same shot at the pool....sorry...i'm not adding pics to blogger inclined.

Well today I'm finally up and around...I feel like I have vacation hangover. Maybe from being up late, or just being worn out from always being on the go since early Friday morning when we left for St. Louis. We played tourist and went to the Magic House on Friday, the St. Louis Science Center all day Saturday, the Arch and Union Station Sunday, and then met up with my sis at a mall for cousin pics and then Turtle Playground Monday. We were going to do the Zoo, but by the time pics got done, we were like the heck with it. Then the fun 3 1/2 hour drive home with 2 more kids, since my nieces are hanging out with mean aunt Melissa this week. 2/4 are still sleeping this morning, but the 2 younger sisters of each set are up and around. I finally got to see my newest nephew in person and hold him!! Yeah! But I posted pics for your viewing pleasure.

Tuesday's Topic.....Nature vs. Nurture

2008-07-09T08:14:00.003-06:00

the oldest child around 3 years old
my dad around age 3 also

The big question this week is nature vs. nurture.........and the winner is: both. Being a nurse, I have seen how nature wins out time and time again, especially at the end. I also believe that Chelsea hit the nail with what she said about nurturing being the refining process that either hones nature in, or allows it to run rampant and out of control. Kids are such a good example (another Chelsea point) of this. My two, and I'm sure every other person's children out there were each born with their own personalities, right from the get go. You could see at 3 a.m. how the little things were...demanding, content, patient, or any other adjective you want to add. That is all a natural process that started the second that egg was fertilized and a new life began to grow. And then they turn 2 and start to have their own ideas! Ha ha. It is then your responsibility as a parent to teach them the way it is going to be in your house until they leave it. Nurturing is more than providing food, clothing, and shelter. It is teaching right from wrong, compassion vs. complacentency, instilling morals and beliefs and codes of conduct, etc.... My dad I think is extremely bored with life, especially since his retirement. This has exacerbated the nature of him, as far as being like his biological father to some degree. As my sis said, we knew Cecil (bio dad) growing up and every time we would go to his house, he would be sitting there watching his TV- and soaps no less...I always did think that was funny. Much of what my dad does now, is sit and watch TV, minus the soaps. His base of thoughts and beliefs and actions are all nurture. Bio-grandpa along with all the other men he raised were not exactly faithful to their wives, and had other questionable traits as well. My dad and my real grandpa, however, are not like that. For better and for worse, rich or poor, etc.... Very loyal to their families, and my dad is to the point of being annoying at times, with all his well meaning help and advice, but in some ways I wouldn't have it any other way. My girls continue to get full doses of grandpa, as he is their babysitter the days I work. I think my mom is kinda getting revenge, since he is more involved with my girls and is doing everything with them that he never did with me and my sister the whole time we were growing up. Mom sleeps in late, etc...while grandpa takes them to school and the park, and the pool now that it's summer.

Now for the depressing part of the post. I often wonder if the discovered events that lead me to leaving husband #2 will have life altering effects on my children that can't be overcome? You can go through all the counseling and programs out there for recovery that you want, but will those unseen scars prevent them from becoming the people they were meant to be? Funny that my sister Amanda would mention if you could change one variable in your life how different would you have turned out. I would definitely have listened to that little voice inside my head all those years ago when I KNEW...and by that I mean I felt that something wasn't' right with that man within 2 weeks of meeting him, and I should have run the other way. That should have been the end. I couldn't put my finger on it, but those inner goosebumps were present. Did I have any idea of what it was? Not a clue. I still spend countless, wasted amounts of time to this day thinking back and wondering how much I missed as far as clues. I had become aware of many, many red flags present, but only after I was completely away from the situation entirely. It makes me wonder what was present that to this day that I am still not aware of. But like I said before this ramble...how will this affect my girls? My youngest seems to have the least effects, but my oldest is another story.....and right now I don't know if its the past affecting her, or the present surge of teenage hormones and attitude or a bad mix of both. Whatever it is, I feel completely helpless currently. And it makes me sick to my stomach that I could have prevented a lot of things if only I had listened to that little voice inside me. Does all the positive now negate all the negative of the past? I don't think so completely. Everyone can put on that happy face no matter what you feel on the inside. And bits of the past are still present as far as learned behaviors and responses. Just how strong is nature and nurture. Are they the present day ying and yang? Or was Darth Vader right...it is your destiny?

Summer Blah's

2008-07-08T20:52:00.004-06:00

I have so much stuff to do before leaving for St. Louis this weekend, that a whiny blog post seemed to be the perfect procrastination tool. But this week I have just felt blah. Maybe I'm stressed from having so much to do this week, or just need to take a nap, I don't know. Have you ever heard of summer blah's? About the equivalent of winter blues for me. I hate summer heat and humidity, and in Missouri, in July, it is hard to escape. I was wishing the other day that it was still a springy 70 degrees like it was in May, so I could get out and do some more landscaping like the project me and the bf did in the picture. Yes, yes...I know that nothing is really stopping me from being out there, except the thought of being out in 92 degrees with 68% humidity that takes your breath away the minute you step out the front door. But, one of these days when it gets a tad cooler, my piece of the planet will continue to get some beautifying done to it. I eventually want to replace all the icky, icky rotting wooden landscape timbers that the previous owners put in place with the permanent, friendly, do it yourself bricks. Since my sense of color coordination is quite lacking, as my sister will attest to (but still not as bad as mom's!!!) I decided to go with the red brick, not that it matches the new siding or shutter colors in the least. That lovely 70's split level brick veneer isn't going away anytime soon, so I figured that was a good way to bring that piece of the 70's around the front and sides of the house. But I digress.....back to heat and humidity...I'm such a baby about it I know....be thankful I have a/c and don't have to be all hot and icky trying to sleep!! Storms kicked up by the heat only add to the humidity cycle. I'm not wishing for snow either...I really don't like it either, except around Christmas....just cooler weather. Maybe I should move out of Misery..I mean Missouri. This concludes this trip through Melissa blogging random thoughts thrown together in sentence form because she's tired Ville.

Tuesday Time......late again :(

2008-07-02T20:16:00.003-06:00

This weeks topic is "If I could...I would....."

If I could, I would like to have another day to spend with my now deceased grandfather. I would spend the countless hours watching him and listening to all the stories that I used to hear over and over and over again as a kid, but have now forgotten. I know they were about various things...about: life, about the times he was growing up, about my dad as a kid, about the pride he took in all the "bargains" and wheeling and dealing he did, about being 70 years old and single handily re-roofed his house, about the trips he and grandma took, about his sweet babies (meaning me and my sister-his long awaited for grandkids), about marriage, about the heartbreak of loosing his bride of 52 years (I remember him bending over her coffin and kissing her goodbye one last time at her funeral), about his amazing knowledge-even though he never got past the 4th grade, about all his tinkering projects he had going, about how there was a $100 bill behind my picture on the tv "if anything ever happened to him", about the sips of pepsi he would steal from the always opened bottle he kept in his fridge, about all the different jobs and hobbies he had, about how I used to think he was MacGyver for fixing his fuse box with a gum wrapper- he actually did that once!, about him letting me drive his car across town at age 14 "teaching me to drive" even though I had NO clue about what I was doing, about how two oil lamps were going to be mine someday, about how much he loved his bacon, 2 fried eggs, 2 pieces of toast, and a bowl of Wheaties with a cut up banana on top for breakfast every morning, about the small talk on those nice summer evenings outside swinging on the hammock while he sat in his old painted metal lawn chair, about him doing his laundry in an old fashioned washer tub he hand cranked and wrung in the backyard, about how when he'd give me a dollar- he always made sure I had 6 cents for tax, about him mowing his yard with the old human powered mower- only once in awhile, about going to McDonald's to get a "sandwich", and about the unconditional love he always gave me, always believed in me, and always put that toothpick side ways in his mouth when I would kiss him goodbye after a visit.

A little late for Tuesday...but here goes...

2008-06-27T08:48:00.002-06:00

School is really kicking my behind this semester, and I'm finally getting around to Tell it to me Tuesday on Friday, but better late than never I think. The topic for this week is your personal Bucket List.....the list of things you want to do before you kick the proverbial bucket...

Sooo....here's my list:
1. I want to travel to Alaska and see the Northern Lights and mountains and polar bears oh my! Maybe a cruise or something like that to see it...

2. I also want to travel to Ireland to see the country side and some old haunted castles...it is just a romantic sounding country to me for some reason plus all the green!!...minus all the terror attacks you used to hear about so much on the news of course.

3. I want to complete my BSN, which is slow going right now...and go on to get my Master's in Nursing...that would be awesome...might take me until I'm 80, but again, better late than never.

4. To have time to start researching the old family tree again....I've slacked on that for like 5 years now....and I'll copy my sister on the point it would be nice to see the places the family came from.

5. Be able to hire a professional organizer and go through my house from top to bottom...I've only lived here a little over 3 years now...and have managed to collect an amazing amount of crap that I don't need or use very much...but I still hang onto for some reason.

6. Learn how to control my impulse buying gene that leads to #5 above. I really need to take the time to think how I will use or where I will put something I'm looking at buying. Or why I'm buying it.

7. Start learning more about how to manage my finances i.e. putting away $$ for retirement and the such so I won't have to work until I'm 87. And be debt free in time to enjoy all the extra disposable income...which won't be so disposable!

8. Learn how to pick a good man and maybe get married again someday...not someone who throws in the towel when the going gets tough, or someone who knows how to communicate and work through issues...after all, no one really wants to grow old alone, but I will not settle ever again for something just because they are there.

9. Get a tattoo that somehow represents my kids.

10. See all the states in the U.S. and their points of interest.

11. See an ocean...I never have...how sad is that? I really need to get out of Missouri more!!!

12. Get back on track with a church in my life...something I've shunned for a long time now.

13. Teach my girls all the things they need to learn from and about me before I die.

14. Win the lottery.....just wishful thinking there!

15. Move to a different house...one without a leaky basement!!

16. Go from being a charge nurse/floor nurse to a teaching job someday...I would like that I think.

17. Be more involved in the my nieces and nephews lives....hard to do when we live so far apart...and be known for something besides being mean!!

18. Learn to live with being disappointed at times....and learn to not make that a focus when it happens.

19. Learn to accept I can not change the past, no matter how hard I would like to....Accept what has happened, but stop dwelling on it and wasting time on the past!! Learn that people are going to think and do and say what they want, without caring one second about how it affects me.

20. Have a blog that says something important and is actually read by someone other than my sister.

That's all I have time to put down right now. Does anyone want to do my stinking homework for me?? :)

Natural Lights

2008-06-12T20:44:00.003-06:00

These are all natural lights, courtesy of Mother Nature, taken last week during one of our many storms lately by my daughter Jessica. Lightening has always fascinated me, and as a kid, I was always hanging out in my bedroom window watching storms roll by. Even now I still will step out on the front porch and watch them come my way with my girls, as me, my dad, and sister used to do when we were kids in this very house. We would sit out there and wait and watch for where the next flash of lightening was coming from. I always liked to experience the change not only in the temperature, but the wind direction and speed. I also always waited patiently for that first whiff of rain saturated air that always let me know what was on the way. We would sit out there through the light sprinkles, and only until the furious rain was about to beat down on us with all its might would we go inside. How fun it be to go back sometimes and do that again, only as an astute observer just to catch a glimmer of the wonder that I'm sure must of been on my face at natures fury.

Tuesday's Telling......

2008-06-10T20:18:00.002-06:00

This weeks topic is "This summer I aspire to...." and I have several different answers to this.

So.....this summer I aspire to....continue what I've started in way of getting healthy. I've already lost 31 lbs, with many more to go....I plan to keep adding to what I've learned in terms of eating healthier, and increasing my activity level, and eventually hope to maybe learn to like exercising, or at least be more consistent with it. I still have my moments when good ole fattening ice cream calls my name, or kfc...but I'm learning to not let it be a complete set back and blow the whole deal, and forgive myself and simply move on and do better tomorrow. The exercising is more of a challenge. Even though I've only been walking, I know at some point I need to do more, but how to get to that point is what needs the working on. Any ideas out there?

This summer I also aspire to complete more of the landscaping projects that have been started. I'll call last months planter box phase 1, lol. Now it may be 5 years before phases 2-7 are complete, but I guess that's one of the joys of home ownership and that whole do it yourself thing. The big goal this year is too do away with the whole landscape timbers look and replace it with the brick retaining walls. It's a needed thing too at my house, since the said timbers are rotting away and parts of my yard keep streaming down the driveway every time it rains now ha ha.

Another aspiration this summer is to take the girls on a mini vacation I've been promising for a year or two now.....certainly nothing special...but they want to go to St. Louis to the Arch and go to old folgie-ville otherwise known as Branson MO and Silver Dollar City. Nothing exciting about either one, but it would be nice to get away from home for a few days definitely.

But that's my summer plans.

Welcome to the world of teenagers!!

2008-06-06T09:50:00.003-06:00

Well....I now have an official teenager! Yesterday evening wrapped up 2 days of festivities celebrating said birthday. Poor me in a soccer mom vehicle surrounded by 5 teenage girls headed to the mall for a day of shopping, minus me of course. I was just the chauffeur. They ditched me faster than Brad dumped Jennifer! So that left poor Kimmy and me to wonder around the boring mall aimlessly, waiting for the girls to get their fill of Claire's, the pet shop, Build a Bear, and who knows what else. Before the mall we went to eat at bd Mongolian BBQ grill, chosen by the birthday girl. Again, surrounded by 5 teenage girls and their crazy take on life! After how many hours, we headed back to the house for cake and ice cream for dinner! Yummy and nutritious ha ha. After the sugar tank refill, the girls then had to go get "beautified" by doing hair and make-up and nails to go sit in a dark movie theater to watch a movie. All that work to sit in the dark....I was laughing inside or was it crying at the thought that they are now SO totally aware of the opposite sex. One of them even said its not the movie, but who you might see at there....did I ever act or think that way? After gorging on over priced movie popcorn and soda, they came back to the house for an all night gab session. The next day they went swimming then to McDonald's then home finally....then I claimed my house back from the gaggle of girls. AHhhhh....my baby is growing up!!!

Telling on Tuesday....

2008-05-27T14:14:00.002-06:00

This week's Tuesday topic is: with the elections coming up in November...what aspect of your life do you want to see change as a result?

All points of political views aside, I think my answer will be similar to several others, and one that truly affects most everyone out there universally in many of the same ways. The aspect I hope to see a return to is more "normal" day to day costs, if there is such a thing anymore. Sadly though, I think those days are long gone. With the "price" of gas going up at a ridiculous rate every day, and that in turn is only driving the price of everything else up now too. I was just thinking the other day how a gallon of gas was only (going to date myself here ha) .85 when I started driving 20 years ago. Imagine what our parents or grandparents thought of that .85 compared to their .05 or .25 a gallon. Much like I am when looking back at what I paid. And I remember when no thought it would ever go above a dollar! Back to the topic though- not only is the cost (and I prefer to think of it as cost instead of saying price, as price to me means personal sacrifice) of gas up but food, clothes, travel, movies....anything I might need or want to go do now costs more. I now pay almost the same for a gallon of gas as a gallon of milk. Surely the supply of cows isn't as short as the highly doubtful supply of oil....which I don't believe by the way. Amazing that the oil company execs are still making that mighty, mighty profit.

I would like to be able to put more into the disposable income category instead of the necessity column, or even savings at this point. Spending money on stuff you want instead of need is always much more fun. If this keeps up, I don't see how some folks out there will be able to afford to drive to work. What sacrifices are you willing to make then? Several nurses I work with drive 40+ miles to be at our small rural hospital, and vise versa on many small town nurses driving to the big city to make the "big money," which I hardly see as being worth it anymore. A few of them are already talking about what their point of quiting is. With prices projected to be over $4 a gallon on average across the country in a few short weeks, this is going to serve to only slow the economy of the country more than it already is. I don't really foresee either the donkey's or the elephant's being able to fix this one realistically.

Tell it to me Tuesday....

2008-05-20T07:30:00.000-06:00

This week's topic is one I chose...hopefully my sis Amanda got it posted since I don't have access to the worldpress site...but....drumroll for today's topic--->>Your favorite family vacation as a kid and why.

Not too hard of a choice for me on what to write about since we basically took one...1...yes singular big family vacation when I was a kid. Can't be too hard to just pick a favorite, since it's the only one. It will be interesting to see what perspective sis writes about..but the big family vacation I will call "The Great Civil War Expedition" occurred in the hot, humid, miserable, and worse time of the year...did I say humid!?! summer of 87. My dad is a HUGE Civil War buff, who eat/sleeps/breathes all things Civil War and knows any useless factoid you would ever want or need, as well as having an entire bookcase full of books devoted to said subject. He is always wanting to go here and there, especially dealing with the civil war, and thought it would be a good idea to drag us along for 2 weeks of that wonderful AAA planned route and discounted stays in near by ** and *** star motels with pools and crappy continental breakfasts. I tried my darnedest to talk the parents into letting me stay home by myself for 2 weeks, since I was a responsible 14 year old who was capable of it, but it was a no-go. Couldn't convince them at all, and I wasn't too happy about it at first.

But, anyway...we spent 2 weeks DRIVING through the southern states of KY, TN, IL, GA, and possibly parts of MS, and AL looking at the same fields of green, green grass, fake cannons, and old wooden fences that were picked up and moved to the next spot we were going and listening to the parents argue about what direction to go and when to turn, etc.. In other words, Civil War battlefields where this or that battle was fought. I have no idea where we were at but I remember whatever creek getting the nickname of blood creek because of all the dead soldiers in there. Nice factoid for a 14 year old to remember, eh. I know we stopped at various other non civil war spots but related somehow to make that tourist dollar like Stone Mountain GA and Pigeon Forge TN to go to Dollywood, to which my mother got to drag us kids around while dad stayed at the hotel watching TV and eating pizza in the nice a/c. We rode some tram thing up the side of the mountain in GA or TN, and that was pretty cool, since at the bottom of the mountain you were leaning back at like a 15 degree angle, but by the time you reached the top, you were a fully 90 degrees upright. Me and sis sat right in front. We saw some of the Smokey Mountains, and got to see Graceland and all things Elvis. Dad avoided Nashville like the plague since Fan Fair was going on. We saw Land o' Lincoln in IL (even though IL is not in the south) and I'm sure civil war stuff too.. There was some creepy gnome village somewhere too all lit up with colored lights. A big stone tower building which looked like it belonged to a castle in Ireland somewhere with like 487 steps which we climbed to the top of to get an even better view of the same green fields, fake cannons, and wooden fences that either union or confederate troops used as a look-out.

One thing I was most proud of at the time, is that for months and months before the trip (I didn't want to go on ;), I did extra jobs around the house and babysat, etc... to earn my own money, and got a nice, new crisp $100 bill before we left. Don't you know how preciously I guarded my 100 bucks and how selective I was with souvenirs ha ha. I also carried my own camera and took my own pics. But by the time we got back to boring ole Missouri, we were all sick of fast food and continental breakfast food and diner food (by far the grossest thing ever was red eye gravy..which about ruined B&G's for me) and BEGGED mom for REAL cooked food....but all we had at home was NOTHING after being gone for 2 weeks.... so it was one last meal of fast food and mom went grocery shopping the next day. But that was The Great Civil War Expedition. Fun, fun, fun!!

Tell it to me Tuesday.....

2008-05-06T08:00:00.001-06:00

This weeks topic is all the fuss about Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus.....and my initial reaction is who cares. I have much better things to occupy my brain power on. She is just the current obsession of the paparazzi and gossip at this moment in time, and after a week or two of hub-bub about it, all the sensationalism will pass just as quick as it happened and the focus will be on someone else. She certainly won't be the first or the last celebrity person of interest to be in that kind of lime-light. Now do I think the Disney folks knew nothing about the shoot? Not for a minute. I'm sure they don't let HM/MC do much of anything without their blessing, since I'm sure they get their fair share of the profit. Why isn't anyone throwing a fit about Disney's money making machine and the exploitation of these girls? Hello-- anyone heard of Britney Spears, or Lindsey Lohan, or Hillary Duff, or Vanessa Hudgens, or etc..etc...

Do I think the Vanity Fair photo shoot was a little risque'? Maybe...I certainly don't think I'd be letting my 15 year old daughter be posing like that, but on the other hand...if she's that comfortable with herself and her skin, then I say go for it. It certainly could have been worse...like Kim Kardashian or Jamie Lynn Spears worse. I also do not think it will hurt her career at all, if anything it will make her more popular. It doesn't affect my view of her either positively or negatively. Do I now think she's an inappropriate role model? Not at all. If anything, it teaches her minions that she is human and she makes mistakes, just like everybody does. Now, thank goodness millions and millions of people won't be criticizing me as a mother or her as a child when those mistakes do happen. Am I going to make my tween daughter rip all her HM posters down or trash all the HM things in her room? No. Will I forbid her/us from watching the show? Or listening to her Cd's? No. I asked said tween daughter what she thought about it all one night when our local news had a story on about it...and she said "it's not like she's naked or anything". Interesting that she didn't take the pic like all these news analyst were.

In other words, a big deal about nothing, except the "journalist" who keep going on and on about it, trying to make it into something wrong or dirty. Which the girl was not naked, suggestive...a little, but definitely not playboy either. Do I think that photo suggested she just had a romp in the hay so to speak? No. Females, albeit teenagers specifically, are apparently not supposed to be comfortable being who they are is the bigger message this whole controversy sends IMHO. In this modern ago of feminism, or what is supposed to be feminism, the media act like they still expect women to be like June Cleaver, staying home with the children and sleeping in separate beds, sex never to be talked about, and blindly going along with what the men say. If anything, I believe the whole situation gives you even more of a reason to talk to your daughters about sexuality and what it means to be a woman someday.

20 down....way more to go....

2008-05-03T15:44:00.003-06:00

Okay...I've been doing this new "lifestyle change" thing, since the word diet is SO passe' now and have lost 20 pounds in the past 1 1/2 months, with many, many more to go. I've lost it because I want to and have made many prepared, conscious, and concerted efforts to do this now. Not as a circumstance of scheduling, not as a side affect (although nice one, ha) of extreme stress, not because someone told me too, etc as I have done several times before. Is it easy? Am I loosing it fast? Hell no. But it is the healthy, non-surgical way, and the appropriate choice for me, as I think gastric bypass is pathetic. If you can't control what goes in your mouth, then you are weak. And I really wouldn't classify myself as weak, only more like unaware and uncaring about the affects that food addiction had on my body up to this point. Too bad you can't avoid food, like you could cigarettes or alcohol addictions. You can definitely live without those, but not food. But I am determined to not use food to get over a bad day, or when my feelings are hurt, or when I'm bored, or angry, or......this list could go on and on I admit. Something else I'm also learning to deal with, but that's another post.

This lifestyle change is a simple equation really...calories exerted need to be more than calories consumed. For calories consumed, I definitely am keeping track of what I eat: calories, carbs, fat, protein and all. A food diary can be very eye-opening. And I cringe at what my totals USED to average in a days time. But along with tracking food, I am also adding mostly whole foods to my diet. Way more costly, but healthier too. Out is fast food, processed supermarket food, and junk food, which can also fall into the other 2 categories. In is fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, skim milk, less cow and more turkey and chicken. Out is fried, sauces, gravies, etc.. and in is grilled, broiled, spices. Trying new things, doing old things in new ways. Taking my lunch has been very imperative on work days. You'd think the hospital cafeteria wouldn't be bad, but some days I might as well as go to Micky D's. I've also only ate out 3 times in the past 6 weeks (much to my children's' disappointment), and made healthy choices, which I used to eat out 3+ times in a weeks time. I have control over what I eat, not the other way around. Planning ahead is the key. Knowing what to order before you go, and what the nutritional breakdown is towards for the day's total is what I do. Most places out there today have the calorie counts somewhere on the web, and what is proclaimed as healthy is what the PR folks are getting paid big-bucks to do.

Am I some gym freak now? Uhhh.. double hell no, and never will be. Just the idea of sweaty nasty people touching the same equipment grosses me out. But I'm definitely exercising more now in the form of walking and increasing activity...not sitting or laying all the time as it was just a short time ago. I know I really need to add more to the routine than just cardio, I'm just not there yet. Walking some days is enough to wear me out, and how sad that is since at one time I used to walk a 12 minute mile. My new best friend is my pedometer. I like seeing how many steps there are in a day and with various activities. Who knew vacuuming could add up to almost 1,000 steps?

All things aside, one of the best websites ever for this kind of lifestyle change is www.sparkpeople.com !!! It helps me with everything I am doing, as well as gives me advice, encouragement, and ideas. Take a look for yourself. I'll keep you posted on my gettin' skinnier efforts.

Telling it on Tuesday....

2008-04-29T06:36:00.003-06:00

Lighter theme this week indeed.... too bad real ice cream is heavy and calorie laden :(

But....my go-to flavor of ice cream is usually chocolate chip cookie dough because you get the best of both worlds...nice yummy, smooth vanilla ice cream, and those savory morsels of raw cookie dough dispersed throughout, because who doesn't like raw cookie dough, or at least one bite of it?

Now for the 31 flavors..errr...simple pleasures:

1. that "just got home for the day" relaxed feeling
2. the smell of baking bread
3. sleeping/laying in bed during a thunderstorm
4. sitting in front of a nice crackling fire all toasty warm
5. tasting warm chocolate chip cookies just out of the oven
6. that your 12 year old still wants you too fix their "boo-boo"
7. that your 12 year old still *expects* you to tuck them in bed at night with a hug and kiss
8. walking in the rain
9. having the windows open on a warm sunny spring day
10. the first tulips of spring
11. lit candles
12. making shapes out of the clouds
13. chocolate milk (see the chocolate theme yet??)
14. washing dishes by hand (not all the time, but I find it relaxing)
15. a nice long, hot shower
16. watching snow fall
17. searching out the stars/night sky with my telescope
18. taking pictures and photography in general
19. cooking...I like to cook
20. Diet Pepsi...best drink ever invented
21. that your 10 year old daughter is totally fascinated and obsessed with bugs, storms, and star wars
22. shopping...and being able to buy that ONE item you've been wanting for SO long
23. hearing your favorite song on the radio
24. receiving flowers
25. having a cat curled up on your lap purring away
26. adding to my collection of art/assignments from the girls projects in school
27. my work as a nurse, and seeing the difference I do make at times
28. getting to read another chapter in a book I want to read, instead of a textbook
29. tmz, both on tv and the .com site...gossip is bad, but they are so witty presenting it
30. the smell of fresh cut grass, even though I don't want to be the one cutting it
31. getting a back scratch

Well...there's my list of 31...and the one I picked to write about is my spring tulips...I feel sorry for the ONE lone red bloom that I have in my flower bed because it was 34 degrees last night. They started announcing the frost advisory by 4pm yesterday. I was so excited to see it peeking up through the dirt, and have watched it grow the past 2 weeks, as it is a sure sign winter is about over. Seeing the tulips is way more exciting than the trees budding their leaves out. But...good ole mother nature seems to be having a most difficult time letting go of winter this year...ugh!! Tulips are my second favorite flower and I hope to have a piece of Holland in my front yard one of these days, with all those bright, cheery colors and pleasant scent they put off. So, happy Tuesday everyone!

Rain Rain go away....

2008-04-24T12:14:00.003-06:00

Yet another stellar day here in Missouri....its been raining for the past 3 days off and on, and I frankly am tired of rain. The yard is a soggy soaked mess, the basement is leaking yet again, and I can't remember how many times I've opened and closed the same windows in the house this week so far. At least the temperature is staying above 40 degrees for a week now!! Whoo hoo....but now we have 100% of that wonderful, pull your hair back humidity. I shouldn't complain too much, but I do carry a masters in gripeology. It could be 20 and snowing ha ha. But I'll take the brief periods of sunshine peeking through the clouds and hearing the cats fight over perching rights of a particular window. Amazing that I have 9 windows to choose from, but the cats are like kids, and want the SAME one at the same time...play nice now!!

This weather is just not helping me get much done outside, or inside for that matter. Outside- I've been to evil Lowe's many many times, and have made many plans for the outside, but I keep adding to my to-do lists, besides the stuff I've already got people hired and in the works like replacing the front and sliding glass doors. Mother nature- I've got retaining wall building to do as well as planter beds to get going, don't you know. Inside- my sub-division (http://www.hickoryhillswarrensburg.org/) is having its annual spring garage sale in 3 weeks, and I still have mucho stuff to go through, as well as set up in the garage for. I'm just hoping someone else wants my crap-o-la more than I do and is willing to pay a quarter for it so I don't have to deal with it anymore. I'm still debating on a few things and if I really want to sell them or not, but I'm glad I have 3 weeks before I really have to decide. But time to get off here, as another wave of thunder/lightening and storms seem to be making its way through now..hope this is the last time of the day I have to close windows!!

Tell it to me tuesday....

2008-04-19T11:40:00.003-06:00

Hmmm....my very own magazine....something you do see more and more of everyday from all walks of celeb life. Not a topic that's been on my mind lately, but I can relate it to something that has been. A juncture in a current relationship has got me thinking about the "where I've come from/been through/experierenced/etc plus the what/hows I've learned/grown/changed" from all that wonderful life experience. Not just love relationship wise, but in general with everything from work, to kids, to beliefs. Heavy stuff, eh? Some is, some isn't as I don't like to get THAT deep in thought most of the time.

Therefore, I think the title of my very own magazine would be Evolution. It definately would not be about Darwin's theory, but more the development, progress, and growth a person goes through based on what life throws at them. What you learn, how it changes you, how is affects or influences your values/beliefs, the trials and errors- and why you always seem destined to repeat some of the same mistakes over and over, only they are disguised as different occurances . How you act/react and choose to carry on can show your inner strength, perseverance, and courage or your deepest fears and regrets. That one horrible event that ended the world as you knew it, but you are still able to stand tall, laugh and smile, and go on, day after day. What you did to survive, and ultimately thrive. Or, ideally, teach others based on your experiences and give them the hope that you found, but once lacked.

No specific writers come to mind to hire, but stories from everyday normal people, since that would be more interesting. I would of course write the most insightful introduction to each months' issue, ha ha. Seeing as my circulation would probably consist of 10 people I would have to charge big bucks for my view of the world :) And don't forget my lists of "must-have's" right from your local wal-mart and target!! Or fav internet sites and I'd have to do a guest feature, just not peeking into someone's fridge like Racheal, or a big deep convo like O, more from real life, like let me come take a picture of your bathroom or the inside of your car BEFORE you have time to tidey up!! Me be on every single cover?? Sure why not? After all, it's MY magazine......hopefully I'll get the big $$ hair/make-up/clothing allowance that I'm sure Oprah and annoying Racheal Ray have, just minus the stiff poses with stupid props. Then some final thoughts, just not as corn-y as Springer.

Now....isn't that something that would have you standing by your mailbox every month??

But I don't wanna go back to work....

2008-02-19T13:53:00.004-06:00

okay..i'm going to whine now....i have been gloriously off work for the past week, taking a few days of vacation time to do absolutely nodda. not like i went anywhere or did anything exciting, unless you count fighting crowds at the mall ha ha. it rained, it snowed, it was cold and then colder, and then a little warmer, but still sucky weather, hence the excitement and warmth of the mall...and spending money to cheer me up. but tomorrow is my first day back to work, and i've already spent most of today dreading it. why is that? what little i did acomplish around the house while i was off still compares poorly to the list i had initally made to get done. and now it's such a downer knowing that i'm literally ticking off the hours until my alarm goes off in the morning, knowing i have to get up and around early and get to work....ugh..ugh....i guess i should be glad to have a job to go to everyday, BUT....it still wouldn't hurt my feelings to win powerball and stay home all the time either. then i could simply hire people to get my lists done ha ha. still, none the less, it makes me not even enjoy this last day off for a few hours. the only bright spot to all the time off was the kids were out of school too so we got to stay up late, sleep in late, and didn't have to worry about time schedules most of the days off.

this is how i spent my week off: wednesday i spent re-arranging my living room since i've been bored with it for some time now, and did some other around the house stuff. went shopping all day thursday while listening to my girls gripe and complain, and i don't even remember what i did friday, besides not having to go north and meet sperm donor since he cancelled his weekend with our kids. saturday rented some movies and ate out and did some laundry. sunday kinda sucked because me and my sweetie plus our kids were going to spend the day together, but that got ruined by a teenage temper tantrum, so i'd had enough and told them to go home, which they did. but oh well. now several days of barely talking, not that i really care at this point. men and little boys who think they are men are simply not worth the headaches and i don't care if i stay single forever now. i'm trying to embed that into my daughter's brains they don't need a man. so the rest of the day we cleaned rooms and more laundry and just hung out together in our man-free zone. yesterday was more of the same, except moved some more crap around in the house and trying to decide what to do with my dining room, plus the added fun of getting 2 girls ready and all their stuff together for school today!! Yeah!! finally..two out of seven days i had for myself and i've wasted it by running boring errands in town and going to walmart for envelopes. how was your week??

it's my birthday....well almost....

2008-01-28T21:44:00.000-06:00

i will officially be 36 years old at 6:39 p.m. CST tomorrow...and I've been thinking all sorts of weird things today....nothing in particular, just random..like how much i HATE white milk...it has to have chocolate in it or i will not drink it. eating on cereal is okay because the fruity puffs or whatever artificial flavor it is I'm eating kills the taste of nasty plain white milk. i think it is because of all the milk i felt like i had to drink when i was preggers with my kids. i was poor at the time and was on the govt. sponsored WIC program, which literally had me drinking 8 gallons of milk a month, which there was NO way in hades that ever happened. ick ick....and then today at work at the H, i ran into the guy who was the best man at my first wedding..how funny is that...same ole Aaron..nice as could be. we chatted for 10-15 minutes, did the whole trading kid pics thing and talked for about 5 seconds about sperm donor (my term of endearment for the EX, a.k.a. as weekend father, a.k.a. my babies daddy--who i hate ha!). plus i've been thinking how hard it was to turn 31...more so than 30 for me for some reason back in the old days. at least i don't dread 40. not yet anyway. but if i die at 70, my life is more than 1/2 over, and what do i have to show for it? not as much as i could i'm sure. i'm also thinking at this moment of the good old fashioned homemade by me and my girls chocolate chip cookies i'm eating now with my chocolate milk and how much better they taste vs. any and all store bought ever made, as well as those every so popular girl scout cookies littering my freezer right now. i hope my late night snack doesn't give me weird dreams, which i've been having lately, but oh well...that's all for now.....

I hate Dell Computers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-17T20:22:00.000-06:00

Here is my letter that I'm sending to the leader of Dell Computers about my ordeal....not that they will care, or even you for that matter....but I'm venting, as well as being majorly PO'd right now!!!!

To Whom It May Concern:

I have had my Dell computer for over 2 ½ years now, with no difficulties experienced until recently. However, in the past month and the troubles I have experienced have made me wonder about your commitment to me, as a customer, now and in the future. I am very frustrated at this time with the whole situation.

Through several long conversations and many, many hours on the phone and trouble shooting exercises with technical support people who are of foreign descent and extremely hard to understand at times, it was determined my heat sink was at fault. The first time in December right before Christmas, a technician was sent to replace the part, and apparently did so incorrectly, leading to a bigger problem that then lead to a second service person being sent (after Christmas) to replace not only that original part, but also the processor and mother board. After those parts were replaced my computer worked wonderfully, like it had previously, but only for approximately 24 hours before the original shut down issue happened once again.

Now, after only 2 technician visits, one of which I don’t even count since the person did not install the replacement part correctly, Dell is ready to completely replace my system with a “refurbished” computer? When inquiring on the phone with Dell Support technician about a refurbished system and where it came from, the previous uses of it, if memory and other specific systems were the same, etc… all the person on the phone would say is the computer would come from Dell. That answer is not an acceptable one to me. When I asked about my hard drive and all my files that I store, your technical support person left me with the impression it would be up to me to convert all the information onto a new system, especially if the new, refurbished system for some reason “does not match your configuration”. What kind of customer service is this?

I also do not appreciate the attitude of your technical support person, who left me feeling I was being labeled a “bad customer” for expecting all other options to be exhausted before an old, secondary, refurbished computer to sent to me. I brought my computer brand new; “built for me and my needs” from your company, and if that is the best answer that Dell can provide me? That I do not understand. If your product was of high enough quality to charge me the price I paid for it, at the first sign of trouble, you want to replace it with a second-hand model is something I do not view as an acceptable solution. That sentiment was voiced by me to your technical support person, who then chided me, saying a refurbished system was the best Dell could do, but if I wanted to try to replace another part, she left me feeling like I would be “humored” and that option tried until it was determined a refurbished unit would be sent.

I need my computer since I am taking online courses for my college degree, and I cannot afford to wait a week for replacement parts like I had to do the last 2 weeks, some of that due to the holidays and my work schedule. Phone calls have not been returned when they said they would be, and I have had to spend another 30 minutes on the phone with your frustrating automated system to just get to talk to a live person to find out if the service technician was still coming out. And since when is the service coming to my house that is supposed to me a convenience for me, dependent upon the technician not wanting to drive at night, or they call and set up an appointment time, only to call a few hours later saying the parts did not come in? I have experienced both of those situations. Now after yet a 3rd technician has been to my house (January 8th) to “repair” my computer, it still does not work correctly, and the original “thermal event” shutdowns continue to occur.

It is now January 17th 2008. I have once again received a phone call from a Dell representative (after the initial phone call on January 9th), even though it’s been longer than the 5 days it would originally take to get back with me, only to be told it will be ANOTHER week to “get back with me” about a refurbished system. Why is it taking over two weeks to get the current problem taken care of, when only 2 weeks ago, your representative was ready right then and there to get the process rolling and one that would take only 3-5 business days to receive the refurbished unit that I apparently should have taken on January 2nd of this year? One minute the refurbished system will contain Windows Vista, the next minute I’m being told it may or may not. I could care less about Windows Vista, as all I want is to have a computer that works the way it should, which is why I wanted to exhaust all other options before having to accept a “refurbished” system, still with no guarantees about how it will work for me.
After my present experience will Dell and the hassles-meaning everything from the “phone-tag” that’s being played by your representatives, even though they have been informed of the best times to contact me, to the absurdness of sending me email “confirmations” call logs when they’ve been told numerous times I have NO access to my internet from MY computer at home, to dealing with trying to understand the heavy accents on the other end of the phone, to the different stories I’m being told each and every time I have called and talked to someone regarding this whole situation, to not one of your “customer representatives” seeming to even get the point that I needed my computer a week ago for my school classes, forcing yet another big inconvenience, I get the feeling at present time I will never get this whole situation resolved to my satisfaction. I will also at this point in time make sure my next computer does not come from your company, not that that makes any difference to anyone reading this. I’m better off buying a computer from a “big box” store; at least I will be able to see and speak to someone in person, and they mostly likely speak English as their first language plus, I will not have to spend 30 minutes on hold waiting to talk to someone either. I’m a very dissatisfied never buying another computer from you again ex-customer.

Signed, ME!!

A New Year........and only 357 shopping days left until Christmas '08 and other rambelings

2008-01-02T08:29:00.001-06:00

It is finally a new year and all the activities of the past month are over now, with the holiday hustle and bustle and travel, and yesterday's seemingly drunk fest. I don't understand people who go out and get 3 sheets to the wind...what is fun about that? But as usual, we had several come into the H to sober up, and that ends up being an expensive night out. Go out and have fun and if possible, have some inkling of intelligence about the fun you will have. Not to the point you have to get admitted to the hospital for your health and safety because of alcohol. Apparently the drunk tank at the local jail is inadequate for that now, since everyone is afraid of being sued on the off chance something happens. I think of that more as consequences for being stupid. You have no one to blame but yourself. However, in today's world, the wonderful (NOT!) thing called political correctness and entitlement has null and voided the concept of you being responsible for the messes you make. The next major event I have to worry about at the H is for when the college kids coming back, looking to live it up on Pine Street, our local street that has way too many bars on it, all with-in walking distance of each other. Oh well.

I for one am glad it's all over and done for another 357 days. It was fun going to my sis's in Chicago, but too rushed. It felt like we spent more time on the road instead of there, and I'm glad we only do that trip once every three years, unlike my sis who has to do it twice in those 3 years. It does suck to pack up and haul, much less adding more kids, more stuff, and more stops along the way. My oldest kiddo was crying when we left because she wanted more time to play with her cousins she only gets to see a couple of times of the year. I did like our idea of gift cards for next year for the adults. No lists of stuff to make or stuff to get just because....write down where you would like to receive gift cards too, and how easy shopping is that? Besides...I get so sick of wrapping everything. It will be fun this year to disquise our gift cards. Too bad the kids won't go for it. At least mine don't believe in Santa anymore, and really knows where their goodies come from. This year the holidays will be at my house, so the girls are busy making all these plans for what to decorate and how for the big event, which that will all soon be forgotten. I de-christmas-ized the house this past weekend, and packed and loaded up all the stuff to store for another 11 months out of the year. I have every intention of going through it all and organizing it, but had meant to do that for the last 2 years now, ha ha. I still have crap left over from "former" lives of mine, meaning marriages and many things I have no idea how I came to get them, like ornaments. They hold no value for me, so why do I hold onto them? All they have done is sit in a storage container since the marriages have ended. Oh well, again!!

2007-11-30T17:54:00.000-06:00

Here is my slacker effort at lighting up the house for the holidays...by no means the Griswald's, although I think my dad would do that if he could to his house ha ha. I will add more next year, since that's where Christmas will be, but you can still see my little rectangle from the highway leading to my sub division.

The first snow fall of the year....

2007-11-30T09:53:00.001-06:00

The first very light snowfall of the year...occured one day before Thanksgiving at the time we were decorating our Christmas tree. How appropriate I thought! But the kids rushed through putting stuff on the tree so they could go outside and "play" in the snow, which of course last about 10 mintues. Only slightly less time than the actual snow falling. All that rushing around to bundle up and get warm clothes on, and the kids were back inside a few mintues later because they were cold and because it wasn't snowing hard enough to suit them. I even heard talk of snow days!! Silly kids. But the snow was pretty while it lasted, and pretty sitting on the bare limbs of the trees in the "forest". It helped but me in the mood for this time of the year, since I'm definately not feeling that festive as of yet.